This was it. There was no going back now. All of a sudden I felt some doubt in my mind, - did I really want to do this? Well, I had to do it. I could not disappoint all the people that had turned up to watch. I should have thought of it before, though I knew it wouldn’t have changed my current situation. I am simply one of those people who are meant to hurt themselves because of some desperate cry for attention, the right kind of attention.
That type of respectful attention, when people notice you because they look up to you, admire you, want to be with you, and take interest in you with nothing else but a positive attitude. I usually get noticed, but then only in twisted humiliating ways, as if I am the closest thing to nothing, only there so those who want can bring me further back in fear of me ever becoming something. Things however felt different now. This was my chance to become like them. Few people choose to be different, most are forced to, and those who are have twisted minds like mine, minds who constantly obligate us to obey and follow, till our chance once appears in front of us. The chance to be seen.