The light shines trough the opened window and the sun is making shadows in the messy room. The bed is not made, as usual, and a sweater, pare of jeans and socks are lying spread out over the floor. A couple of cds and some other stuff that can’t be described are covering the carpet, and it’s impossible to notice that it’s actually blue. A girl comes in to the room. She stands still and looks around. The window is opened, she sees it, and she looks confused. Like she couldn’t remember that she has opened it, she raises her shoulders like she don’t care and closes the window slowly.
I’m watching her. She’s coming into the room. She kicks some cds over the floor, and then she sees the window. I panic! Oh no, I forgot to lock the window! She can’t know that I’m here, not yet. I’m folding my hands and pry that she won’t find out. But she just looks confused and walks over the room and closes the window. I have to leave her, I know I do, but I can’t, not yet. She stands still just looking at me, but still it’s like she’s looking strait trough me. I don’t understand. I need her, I want her, but I can’t have her.
She’s standing quite shocked. What was going on? The look in her face sad more than words could say. She whispered to her self. – What are you doing here? Leave me. Please my love, please leave me. A tear appears from here eye. Her knees are bending and her face is making this indescribable look. Here eyes are begging him to stay but her voice is telling different. She breaks down, her eyes is over filled. Tears of diamonds are falling down kissing the floor. She bends over and her body is shaking. She sees in her head a church, all the flowers, and the graves. All the black people that has nothing to say, they’re only standing whit lonely thoughts to think. And suddenly, she looks up, and whispers quietly – Leave me.
Can you see me? I whisper softly out in to nothing, she doesn’t answer. She just looks at me. She asks me to leave her, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn’t mean it. She needs me here, but this is not the place that I should be. I can see how her eyes is filled whit tears, here blue eyes are creating crystal diamonds that falls down and breaks it hits the floor. She’s sitting on the floor.
She’s sitting on the floor, bend over like a ball. Whit her head lying on her knees and has her arms lying on her head. She cries whit her whole body, just like she always do. I walk over to her, Oh how I whish that I could touch her. I reach out my hand. And the only thing I think about is that I want to touch her and make her feel better. And I can! My hand is lying on her back, and I’m stroking it. And she stops crying, it helps! But the she looks whit empty eyes out in the room and says to me. – Leave me.
The sun is hiding behind the clouds making shadows weaker, and soon they’ll disappear. A girl is sitting in her room. Writing words of her mind. Making feelings become describable. She looks out of her window. She longs to see something out there. She sends a kiss out into the air and hopes that it will kiss her back. A man is standing in the window. He waves back at her, she smiles back and waves. But her smile is not happy; happy is a feeling she no longer know. And suddenly she puts her hands up to her chest and holds them up to her shoulder, and leans her head back like she's leaning into something.
I’m sitting on her bed, watching her. I'm rising up, and I’m walking towards her. She’s sitting in the window. I bend over her to get a closer looks of what she's writing. But she puts her hand over the book like she knows that I want to see what she's writing. She sends a kiss out in the air, and I kiss her back, but she can't feel. She looks out of the window, waves to a man across the street. I want to feel her arms around me. Can she feel me? I put my arms around her neck, and she holds her arm up to mine. Trying to hold me, but she can't. She leans back at me. I need to concentrate to hold her up. And then I lean down to her air, and whisper; I love you my darling. And she closes her eyes, but she doesn't respond.
The moon light is shining, and one million stars are sparkling like glitter thatched on the black carpet that is covering the blue sky. A cold wind is blowing through the three tops, and kicks the leave up in the air, in its dance of freedom. A girl is going to bed, she takes of her sweater, and her jeans, and than she throws the socks trough the room and they land perfectly on a chair that’s already over filled whit clods. She walks slowly over the floor, and she lies down, covers her self in her duvet, and rubs it around her.
I can see how she takes of her clods. The chair beside her desk is foul of clods, it has always been. And it will always be. I don’t think she would ever clean it. I can see her body, I miss it so much I want to lie beside her and stroke her back like I used to when she was sad. I walk across the room from the corner beside the door, and now I’m standing beside her on the floor, I can feel her inside of me, and I can stand her, just watching her, my eyes are filled whit tears and I want to sit down beside her, and sing her a good night song. And then she’ll tell me the words I long to hear. But I know that won’t happen.
A whispering voice speaks out loud in the dark room. Maybe it speaks up in to the sky, to the stars or something of a higher power. The voice is whispering beautiful words. A quiet tear falls now and then down on the pillow. The moon is watching her. She stands up and looks out of the window. And then she whispers. Why are you here? And then she just listen, she know she won’t get an answer but she asks anyway. Why can’t you just leave like everybody else? Nothing special happened to you. And then she cries. But I never even got the chance to say good bye. She’s sitting in the window, she opens it. She talks out into the black night. Why did I never tell you? Now I regret it so much. I just couldn’t. But I never got the chance to tell you, and now I won’t. But you won’t leave me, or maybe it’s just me that can’t let you go. I cry every night for you to be here, and now you are, and still I cry. I just wanted to say that I love you too, but you can’t listen. And just as she spoke out those words, a pen writes some words on her window; I love you my darling, and you will always be in my mind, but you need to forget me. And then the curtain blows up and a cold autumn wind strokes her face.
I can hear how she speaks, whispers. After a while she gets up from her bed, and I move slowly after her towards the window. I can hear what she’s saying now, because she’s speaking more clearly. She talks about me. Why did I never tell you? You didn’t because you were not ready. I answer her on every question she asks. Now I regret it so much. I just couldn’t. But I never got the chance to tell you, and now I won’t. I forgive you, you just weren’t ready, and it’s not your fault. But you won’t leave me, or maybe it’s just me that can’t let you go. I don’t want to leave you, but I have to, but can’t not yet. I cry every night for you to be here, and now you are, and still I cry. I have to be here until you’re ready. . I just wanted to say that I love you too, but you can’t listen. She looks out in to the room, just looking. Yes I can, and I can now let you know that I’m listening to every word. So I take a pen, and I start to write on her window; I love you my darling and you will always be in my mind, but you need to forget me. And then the chain that holds me back is broken. I flew out the window, up in the sky. And I know that I will never come back.