Dear Mr. Claus!
Since you just work 1 of 365 days, and have “the day off” the rest of the year I would say that you have a lot to answer for. The be-good-propaganda got to my brain, and I’ve now been a god boy the whole year, I’ve vacuumed the whole house and I’ve been helping old widows cross the streets. But due to all this drudgery toil, what’s my reward? I’ve wrote and mailed a 6 feet long whish-list who mentioned both a computer and a playstation. I’ve didn’t even get a TV! What did I get? A stupid, wooden horse and a toy car.
What in the name of Jesus are you thinking with? I’ve been a slave for myself and the society for over a year and this is the prize? What kind of freaky right do you have to judge me? You sit there in eleven months eating cookies and drinking milk!
And your little “elves” who helps you so lovely, a part of me means that that’s no elves. I’ve highly believe that that’s children labour, your own children! Since you spend so much time alone with your wife, I’ll believe that you are saving some money by making workers yourself, you’re a pig!
But what should I do to earn some respect around here? I’m stuck here, while you’re on the North Pole making children. I want my God-forsaken gifts.
Vacuumed the house? What you did to that poor kitten was not cleaning. It was mean, animal maltreatment! And what you said about the elders… using a gas-horn to scare helpless old ladies from pavement to pavement is not nice!
The reason you’d got all that useless junk is that we were out of charcoal. And an old stupid law makes me a criminal if I take a crap in someone’s chimney.
Thomas, you’re a real bully, and you’re not the only one. I receive millions of complains every year. Now its time for a reformation! From today, I hereby gives up the be-good-Santa principle. I’m the new ruler of earth. You shall obey me, and only me! Give it up for Santa Satan the first.
Christmas is from this day an illegal word, and herby shall all children, at the 24th of December, buy me gifts. This is your own reason and it would never happen if you would just understand what I have known for centuries: it’s the happiness of giving who counts.
So along suckers!