I got this tiny boook from my grandma once, when I was a younger. I lost it years ago, but I still remember the title. ”A Friend Is Someone Who Likes You.”, it said. And, when I tried to figue out how to describe a friend, I thought for myself that, well, that´s about it, isn´t it? Someone who likes you. And you like back.
Then comes all the more concret demands : a friend is someone who cares about you, but not too much. A friend is someone you can laugh with, but doesn´t laugh at you. Someone who tells you secrets, but don´t tell yours to anyone else. Someone who thrusts you, but don´t depend on you. We all have those demands. Where did we get them? How can we say that we know exactly what a friend is? In my opinion, we can´t.
If you think about it, there are a lot of demands about a friend in which we think is obvious. And once they doesn´t do as we thought, we talk behind their back and complain about them. Being friends with someone is not easy at all, it is almost equally to a relationship.
As for me, I hate pretending I agree with a friend only to avoid a quarrel. I need to have a friendship where we both can tell eachother how we feel, even if the truth will hurt. Of course, there is a limit. If you hear somebody talk badly about your friend, would you tell him, or her? How would you feel if you found out someone you thought liked you, talked behind your back? I think that depends on what they said and what your friend is like. If he (or her) gets easily hurt, maybe I would´t tell. Honesty is for me one of the basic rules for a friendship, but you must also consider peoples feelings.
Understanding is also very important.
That your friend can understand you when you say ”I don´t know, I think I´ll just go home and get some rest” and don´t get upset and thinks ”oh my god, she doesn´t like me anymore!!” You can have a bad day, and still have a friend. You can say something really stupid, or do something awful, and still have a friend, because your friend probably has been in the same situation before and understands you.
So, what is a good friend? Someone who likes you. Someone you like back. Someone who calls you, just to talk or to ask you how you´re doing today. Someone you cant wait to tell what you´ve just heard or found out. Someone you care about, who mutually cares for you. Someone you can quarrell with, cry with, laugh with. Simply someone to share your live with.