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2. verdenskrig i Europa


Denne stilen inneholder fakta om Tysklands krigføring og hva som skjedde med land de angrep.
Sjanger:ArtikkelLastet opp:11.02.2006
Språkform:NynorskForfatter:Anonym
Tema:2. verdenskrig
Verktøy:Utskrift   Del på Facebook



1936:

I 1936 var det val i Spania. Den valte regjeringa ville dele opp godsa slik at småbøndene fikk meir jord og de ville begrense den katolske kyrkens makt. Men godseigarane og den katolske kyrka var imot det, og godseigarane og den katolske kyrka hadde mykje å seie i Spania, så regjeringa fekk mektige fiendar. Sommaren 1936 gikk ein gruppe offiserar med general Francisco Franco til opprør mot den spanske regjeringa. De fekk støtte av Tyskland (Hitler) og Italia (Mussolini). Krigen mot Spania ble nesten som ein treningsarena der de fekk prøvd ut nye våpen. De bomba forsvarslause spanske byar. Sovjetunionen sendte regjeringa våpen, og mange frivillige frå heile Europa drog til Spania for å kjempe på regjeringas side. Frå Noreg drog det ca 200-300 frivillige.

 

1938:

I mars 1938 marsjerte tyske soldatar over grensa til Østerike. På den tida ver forholda i Østerike veldig dårlige. Til Hitlers fordel var det mange i Østerike som ville at landet skulle bli ein del av Tyskland. Da tyske tropper marsjerte inn i Wien, ble de møtt med stor jubel. Etter kort tid forsvann Østerike frå kartet.

 

Så var det Tsjekkoslovakias tur. I Tsjekkoslovakia budde det tsjekkare, slovakare og tyskarar (sudettyskarane). Mange av sudettyskarane beundra Adolf Hitler. Hitler krevde då at området der sudettyskarane skulle tilhøyre Tyskland. Da sa Tsjekkoslovakia nei, for de hadde ein sterk hær og de var trygge på at Storbritannia og Frankrike skulle de. Men der tok de feil. For Storbritannia og Frankrike var det viktig å unngå krig med Tyskland. På ein konferanse i München gjekk Storbritannia og Frankrike med på at Tsjekkoslovakia skulle gi frå seg den vestlege delen av landet, utan at Tsjekkoslovakia fekk seie sin meining. Eit halvt år etter Münchenavtalen tok Tyskland det som var igjen av Tsjekkoslovakia. No skjønte Storbritannia og Frankrike at dei måtte stoppe Hitler med makt.

 

1939:

I 1939, etter 3 års borgarkrig, vant general Franco ein endeleg seier. Etter Tsjekkoslovakia, krevde Tyskland at Polen skulle gi frå seg land. Då nekta Polen, denne gangen med Storbritannia og Frankrike på sin side. Viss Tyskland angrep Polen, ville de gå til krig mot Tyskland. I slutten av august ble Tyskland og Sovjetunionen einige om ein ikkeangrepspakt. 1. september gjekk Tyskland til angrep, og 3. september gjekk Storbritannia og Frankrike til krig mot Tyskland. På få ukar hadde Tyskland erobra Polen, og som følgje av avtalen mellom Hitler og Stalin, fikk Sovjetunionen sin del av det ulykkelige landet. Sovjetarane tok da til fange 10000 polske offiserar, der 8000 av de ble henretta. Så gjekk krigen inn i ein fase der det ikkje var noen slag, og det skjedde nesten ingenting.

 

På hausten marsjerte sovjetiske tropper inn i statane Estland, Latvia og Litauen og gjorde slutt på deira selvstendighet. Deretter krevde Sovjetunionen at Finland skulle gi frå seg områder i øst, noe som finnane ikkje gjekk med på. Då gjekk Sovjetunionen til angrep på det nordiske landet, men det var vanskeligare enn dei hadde trudd. Mange svenskar, danskar og nordmenn drog til Finland og slåst på Finland sin side. Dei haldt ut heile fire månadar mot ein stor og overmektig fiende, og overraska heile verda. Men til slutt måtte dei gi opp og gi frå seg store landområdar.

 

1940:

9. april ble Danmark og Noreg angrepet av Tyskland. Da overgav Danmark seg på få timar. De mente at de ikkje ville ha noen kjangs til å forsvare seg i det flate landskapet. Men Noreg hadde betre sjans. 9. april ble den store tyske kryssaren Blücher senka ved Drøbak av kanoane på Oscarsborg. Da døde ca 1000 av de 2500 tyskarane om bord. Men tross av at det ikkje var meir enn 11000 tyske soldatar som angrep, klarte ikkje Noreg å gi tyskarane noe særlig motstand. Etter to månadars kamp måtte Noreg overgi seg. På den tida var også Nederland, Luxemburg og Belgia blitt erobre, og juni 1940 måtte sjølv Frankrike overgi seg. Dei hadde ikkje mykje å stille opp med mot den tyske hæren. Tyskarane brukte veldig mykje nokon jagarfly som heit ”Stukas”. Så var det bare Storbritannia igjen. I mai hadde Storbritannia skifta statsminister frå Neville Chamberlain, som ikkje heilt forstod kas fare nazistane utgjorde, til Winston Churchill, som lenge hadde advart mot Adolf Hitler. Ikkje lenge etter begynte slaget om Storbritannia. Den tyske planen var at tyske fly skulle bombe Storbritannia så grundig at britane ikkje kunne stå imot ein tysk invasjon. Storbritannia hadde nesten 2000 mindre fly enn Tyskland, men før krigen hadde britane utviklet radaren, så de kunne se når og kor tyskarane ville komme. Dermed kunne britane møte de tyske flyene. Sommaren 1940 ble London bomba 57 nettar på rad. Men tross Tysklands ovarlegenheit, klart ikkje tyskarane å ta Storbritannia.

 

1941:

Tidlig den 22. juni gjekk Tyskland til angrep på Sovjetunionen. Dette kom som et sjokk på Stalin og hans medarbeidare. Tyskaranes hærstyrke var underlegne, men den sovjetiske hæren var heilt uforberedt og dårlig utrusta. I starten gjorde de tyske troppene store framskritt. Store områder ble erobra og den sovjetiske hæren led store tap. Men Sovjetunionen var et stort land og hadde mange millionar å ta av. Sovjetarane kunne gjerne finne på å trekke seg langt tilbake for så å komme med et knusande motangrep.

 

Vinter 1941-1942:

Vinteren 1941-1942 var veldig hard. I Russland var det 30-40 minusgradar. Tyskarane var ikkje forberedt på denne kulden, så soldatar frøs i hjel og motorar og kjøretøy frøs i stykkar. Veiene ble heilt uframkommelige. Men russiske soldatar klarte seg betre. De var vant til kulden. På den tida tyskarane ikkje kunne komme seg framover, klarte sovjetarane å organisere seg betre.

 

1942:

September 1942 nådde tyske styrker fram til Stalingrad. Der ble de litt over 300 000 tyske soldatane omringa av overlegne sovjetiske styrker.

 

1943:

Januar 1943 måtte tyskarane overgi seg.

 

1944:

6. juni kom den såkalte D-dagen. Då gjekk britiske og amerikanske hærstyrkar i land på strendene i Normandie. Målet var å befri Frankrike og andre okkuperte land. No ble Tyskland pressa frå to kantar. Britane og amerikanarane frå vest og sovjetarane frå øst. Natt etter natt ble tyske byar bomba, mange ble bomba til ruinar. No fekk de sivile tyskarane svi for Adolfs verk. Adolf og hans nærmaste medarbeidare stengte seg inn i ein bunker, og da sovjetarane angrep byen, skjøt han seg sjølv.

 

Tysklands nederlag:

I mai 1945 kom Tysklands endelige nederlag. Da ble Tyskland delt mellom Storbritannia, Frankrike, Amerika og Sovjetunionen.


Kommentarer fra brukere


En gang i blant skrives det kommentarer som mangler seriøsitet eller som ikke har noe med oppgavens tema å gjøre. Hjelp oss å rydde! Klikk 'varsle' nederst til høyre på de meldinger du mener må bort. Så fjerner redaksjonen kommentarene etter hvert.

Steffus
13.10.2014 13:04

Bra!
177
anbefalinger
Så Blücher ble senket av kanoer?  Surprised :-o

Karin
27.04.2006 12:45

Bra!
67
anbefalinger
Jeg har lest teksten din nøye og studert litt... mye av dette er faktisk feil, men jg r faktisk villig til å skrive en ny stil som inneholder alle viktige og KORREKTE fakta som skal til i en slik stil! skriv noe tilbake så skal du få den innen en uke!! dette lønner seg Very Happy :-D Very Happy :-D elller så var d jo kreativt å skrive litt oppspinn, men jg foretrekker fakta Wink ;-\)

krk
07.11.2007 22:25

Bra!
31
anbefalinger
denne sida var humoristisk, men kanskje en anelse useriøs?
gøyalt å lese den uansett hehe

Geir
19.11.2007 20:06

Bra!
27
anbefalinger
Husk, deler av Tyskland gikk også til Polen

sono
13.05.2009 18:43

Bra!
19
anbefalinger
den var bra men det var litt feil tyskland ble ikke delt det er feil skrevet men var bra

samen
03.04.2008 22:35

Bra!
18
anbefalinger
I stedet for å disse gutten, kan dere ikke heller lage et bedre produkt selv?...

Magnus
15.12.2008 23:08

Bra!
16
anbefalinger
Tyskerne overga seg i februar i Stalingrad, ikke i januar.

Tyskland ble ikke delt mellom Storbritannia, Frankrike, Sovjetunionen og Amerika. Tyskland ble derimot delt mellom Storbritannia, Frankrike, Sovjetunionen og USA. Der er en viktig forskjell.

hajoa
11.12.2012 11:00

Bra!
15
anbefalinger
yo det var sykt bra  Smile :-\)

Retteren
05.05.2010 16:37

Bra!
14
anbefalinger
Jeg syns at dere som liker å kødde bare skal gå og plage noen andre og la vær å snakke om noe annet enn teksten. Jeg syns at den fortjener 4+ i karakter fordi det var noen gramatiske feil og fordi noe av innformasjonen var litt ukorrekt.  Smile :-\)


23.01.2012 10:52

Bra!
14
anbefalinger
bra artikkel!

femmebleach
26.11.2008 20:10

Bra!
13
anbefalinger
det var en fin artikkel. men jeg skulle gjerne ønsket at den var på norsk. men det var gøy å lese den fordet

P&M
14.05.2013 10:41

Bra!
13
anbefalinger
Bra artikkel, personlig forstod ikke vi helt humoren i teksten (som noen kommenterer her), men bra uansett. Det var en del gramtikkfeil, og litt faktafeil da..menmen..  Smile :-\) Vi syntes ikke det virket som en artikkel, hvordan teksten var bygget opp var ikke helt i tråd med kriteriene for oppbyggging av artikkel.. vi ville gitt teksten din en 4/3  Smile :-\) lykke til!

M
24.08.2008 15:03

Bra!
12
anbefalinger
Her var det mykje nynorsk feil!!!
Her var det mye nynorsk feil!!!
Heheh... Naaws men... Nynorsk.. Lær mer..
Leste ca 2 linjer

Kenneth
09.03.2016 16:34

Bra!
12
anbefalinger
Det var en veldig nyttefull tekst!!

Sherk
05.06.2018 09:29

Bra!
12
anbefalinger
Once upon a time there was a lovely
princess. But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort which could
only be broken by love's first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded
by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.
Many brave knights had attempted to
free her from this dreadful prison,
but non prevailed. She waited in the
dragon's keep in the highest room of
the tallest tower for her true love
and true love's first kiss. (laughs)
Like that's ever gonna happen. What
a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his
day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go
after the ogre.

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1
Think it's in there?

MAN2
All right. Let's get it!

MAN1
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
thing can do to you?

MAN3
Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's
bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK
Yes, well, actually, that would be a
giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.
They'll make a suit from your freshly
peeled skin.

MEN
No!

SHREK
They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the
jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's
quite good on toast.

MAN1
Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
(waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The
men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long
and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the
men are in the dark.

SHREK
This is the part where you run away.
(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
And stay out! (looks down and picks
up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.
Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and
throws the paper over his shoulder.)


THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard
sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures
to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line
are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto
who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three
little pigs.

GUARD
All right. This one's full. Take it
away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!


HEAD GUARD
Next!

GUARD
(taking the witch's broom) Give me that!
Your flying days are over. (breaks the
broom in half)

HEAD GUARD
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.
Next!

GUARD
Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD
Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR
(crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY
Please, don't turn me in. I'll never
be stubborn again. I can change. Please!
Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN
Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY
Oh!

HEAD GUARD
Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO
This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO
I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his
nose grows)

HEAD GUARD
Five shillings for the possessed toy.
Take it away.

PINOCCHIO
Father, please! Don't let them do this!
Help me!

Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up
to the table.

HEAD GUARD
Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN
Well, I've got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD
Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,
if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN
Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD
Well?

OLD WOMAN
Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little
nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.
Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

HEAD GUARD
That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!


OLD WOMAN
No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends
to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to
talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing
you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD
Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN
No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One
of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's
hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled
with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

DONKEY
Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN
He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS
He can fly!

HEAD GUARD
He can talk!

DONKEY
Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm
a flying, talking donkey. You might
have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey
fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins
to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink
to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD
Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)
After him!

GUARDS
He's getting away! Get him! This way!
Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.
Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared
for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He
quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD
You there. Ogre!

SHREK
Aye?

HEAD GUARD
By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized
to place you both under arrest and transport
you to a designated resettlement facility.


SHREK
Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well
and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail
and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and
begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY
Can I say something to you? Listen,
you was really, really, really somethin'
back here. Incredible!

SHREK
Are you talkin' to...(he turns around
and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back
around and Donkey is right in front
of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY
Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell
you that you that you was great back
here? Those guards! They thought they
was all of that. Then you showed up,
and bam! They was trippin' over themselves
like babes in the woods. That really
made me feel good to see that.

SHREK
Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY
Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK
Now, why don't you go celebrate your
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?


DONKEY
But, uh, I don't have any friends. And
I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,
wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll
stick with you. You're mean, green,
fightin' machine. Together we'll scare
the spit out of anybody that crosses
us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very
loudly.

DONKEY
Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you
don't mind me sayin', if that don't
work, your breath certainly will get
the job done, 'cause you definitely
need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause
you breath stinks! You almost burned
the hair outta my nose, just like the
time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey
continues to talk, so Shrek removes
his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten
berries. I had strong gases leaking
out of my butt that day.

SHREK
Why are you following me?

DONKEY
I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause
I'm all alone, There's no one here beside
me, My problems have all gone, There's
no one to deride me, But you gotta have
faith...

SHREK
Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't
have any friends.

DONKEY
Wow. Only a true friend would be that
cruelly honest.

SHREK
Listen, little donkey. Take a look at
me. What am I?

DONKEY
(looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really
tall?

SHREK
No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your
torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that
bother you?

DONKEY
Nope.

SHREK
Really?

DONKEY
Really, really.

SHREK
Oh.

DONKEY
Man, I like you. What's you name?

SHREK
Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY
Shrek? Well, you know what I like about
you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me
thing. I like that. I respect that,
Shrek. You all right. (They come over
a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)
Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live
in place like that?

SHREK
That would be my home.

DONKEY
Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.
You know you are quite a decorator.
It's amazing what you've done with such
a modest budget. I like that boulder.
That is a nice boulder. I guess you
don't entertain much, do you?

SHREK
I like my privacy.

DONKEY
You know, I do too. That's another thing
we have in common. Like I hate it when
you got somebody in your face. You've
trying to give them a hint, and they
won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
(awkward silence) Can I stay with you?


SHREK
Uh, what?

DONKEY
Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK
(sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY
Really?

SHREK
No.

DONKEY
Please! I don't wanna go back there!
You don't know what it's like to be
considered a freak. (pause while he
looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.
But that's why we gotta stick together.
You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!


SHREK
Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY
Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)


SHREK
What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto
a chair.) No! No!

DONKEY
This is gonna be fun! We can stay up
late, swappin' manly stories, and in
the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

SHREK
Oh!

DONKEY
Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK
(irritated) Outside!

DONKEY
Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,
I don't know you, and you don't know
me, so I guess outside is best, you
know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek
slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do
like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was
born outside. I'll just be sitting by
myself outside, I guess, you know. By
myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's
no one here beside me...

SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT

Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights
a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a
noise. He stands up with a huff.

SHREK
(to Donkey) I thought I told you to
stay outside.

DONKEY
(from the window) I am outside.

There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that
made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns
and spots 3 blind mice on his table.

BLIND MOUSE1
Well, gents, it's a far cry from the
farm, but what choice do we have?


BLIND MOUSE2
It's not home, but it'll do just fine.


GORDO
(bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.


SHREK
Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes
and lands on his shoulder.)

GORDO
I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's
ear)

SHREK
Ow!

GORDO
Blah! Awful stuff.

BLIND MOUSE1
Is that you, Gordo?

GORDO
How did you know?

SHREK
Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are
you doing in my house? (He gets bumped
from behind and he drops the mice.)
Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves
with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no,
no, no. Dead broad off the table.


DWARF
Where are we supposed to put her? The
bed's taken.

SHREK
Huh?

Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain.
The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at
him.

BIG BAD WOLF
What?

TIME LAPSE

Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging
him to the front door.

SHREK
I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm
a terrifying ogre! What do I have to
do get a little privacy? (He opens the
front door to throw the Wolf out and
he sees that all the collected Fairy
Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh,
no. No! No!

The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his
pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing
flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.


SHREK
What are you doing in my swamp? (this
echoes and everyone falls silent.)


Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a
tent.

SHREK
All right, get out of here. All of you,
move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!
Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more
dwarves run inside the house) No, no!
No, no. Not there. Not there. (they
shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to
look at Donkey)

DONKEY
Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite
them.

PINOCCHIO
Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

SHREK
What?

PINOCCHIO
We were forced to come here.

SHREK
(flabbergasted) By who?

LITTLE PIG
Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed
and he...signed an eviction notice.


SHREK
(heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where
this Farquaad guy is?

Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

DONKEY
Oh, I do. I know where he is.

SHREK
Does anyone else know where to find
him? Anyone at all?

DONKEY
Me! Me!

SHREK
Anyone?

DONKEY
Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!
Me, me!

SHREK
(sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy
tale things. Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out.
In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad
right now and get you all off my land
and back where you came from! (Pause.
Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)
You! You're comin' with me.

DONKEY
All right, that's what I like to hear,
man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
friends, off on a whirlwind big-city
adventure. I love it!

DONKEY
(singing) On the road again. Sing it
with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get
on the road again.

SHREK
What did I say about singing?

DONKEY
Can I whistle?

SHREK
No.

DONKEY
Can I hum it?

SHREK
All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

DULOC - KITCHEN

A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually
dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.

FARQUAAD
That's enough. He's ready to talk.


The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down
onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the
table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes
up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.


FARQUAAD
(he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs
and plays with them) Run, run, run,
as fast as you can. You can't catch
me. I'm the gingerbread man.

GINGERBREAD MAN
You are a monster.

FARQUAAD
I'm not the monster here. You are. You
and the rest of that fairy tale trash,
poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell
me! Where are the others?

GINGERBREAD MAN
Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's
eye.)

FARQUAAD
I've tried to be fair to you creatures.
Now my patience has reached its end!
Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to
pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)


GINGERBREAD MAN
No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop
buttons.

FARQUAAD
All right then. Who's hiding them?


GINGERBREAD MAN
Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the
muffin man?

FARQUAAD
The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN
The muffin man.

FARQUAAD
Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives
on Drury Lane?

GINGERBREAD MAN
Well, she's married to the muffin man.


FARQUAAD
The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN
The muffin man!

FARQUAAD
She's married to the muffin man.

The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.

HEAD GUARD
My lord! We found it.

FARQUAAD
Then what are you waiting for? Bring
it in.

More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet.
They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic
Mirror.

GINGERBREAD MAN
(in awe) Ohhhh...

FARQUAAD
Magic mirror...

GINGERBREAD MAN
Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks
him up and dumps him into a trash can
with a lid.) No!

FARQUAAD
Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Is this not the most perfect kingdom
of them all?

MIRROR
Well, technically you're not a king.


FARQUAAD
Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a
hand mirror and smashes it with his
fist.) You were saying?

MIRROR
What I mean is you're not a king yet.
But you can become one. All you have
to do is marry a princess.

FARQUAAD
Go on.

MIRROR
(chuckles nervously) So, just sit back
and relax, my lord, because it's time
for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes.
And here they are! Bachelorette number
one is a mentally abused shut-in from
a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi
and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies
include cooking and cleaning for her
two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
(shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette
number two is a cape-wearing girl from
the land of fancy. Although she lives
with seven other men, she's not easy.
Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and
find out what a live wire she is. Come
on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows
picture of Snow White) And last, but
certainly not last, bachelorette number
three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded
castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!
But don't let that cool you off. She's
a loaded pistol who likes pina colads
and getting caught in the rain. Yours
for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows
picture of Princess Fiona) So will it
be bachelorette number one, bachelorette
number two or bachelorette number three?


GUARDS
Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!


FARQUAAD
Three? One? Three?

THELONIUS
Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number
three, my lord!

FARQUAAD
Okay, okay, uh, number three!

MIRROR
Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess
Fiona.

FARQUAAD
Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I
have to do is just find someone who
can go...

MIRROR
But I probably should mention the little
thing that happens at night.

FARQUAAD
I'll do it.

MIRROR
Yes, but after sunset...

FARQUAAD
Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona
my queen, and DuLoc will finally have
the perfect king! Captain, assemble
your finest men. We're going to have
a tournament. (smiles evilly)

DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section

Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking
lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high.

DONKEY
But that's it. That's it right there.
That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it.


SHREK
So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.


DONKEY
Uh-huh. That's the place.

SHREK
Do you think maybe he's compensating
for something? (He laughs, but then
groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke.
He continues walking through the parking
lot.)

DONKEY
Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.

MAN
Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.


SHREK
Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing
a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad,
screams and begins running through the
rows of rope to get to the front gate
to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second.
Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just
- - I just - - (He sighs and then begins
walking straight through the rows. The
attendant runs into a wall and falls
down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then
continue on into DuLoc.)

DULOC

They look around but all is quiet.

SHREK
It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?


DONKEY
Hey, look at this!

Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box
marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors
open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin
to sing.

WOODEN PEOPLE
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town


Here we have some rules

Let us lay them down

Don't make waves, stay in line

And we'll get along fine

DuLoc is perfect place

Please keep off of the grass

Shine your shoes, wipe your... face

DuLoc is, DuLoc is

DuLoc is perfect place.

Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture.

DONKEY
Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready
to run over and pull the lever again)


SHREK
(grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still)
No. No. No, no, no! No.

They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.

FARQUAAD
Brave knights. You are the best and
brightest in all the land. Today one
of you shall prove himself...

As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena
Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song.

SHREK
All right. You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom.

DONKEY
Sorry about that.

FARQUAAD
That champion shall have the honor -
- no, no - - the privilege to go forth
and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona
from the fiery keep of the dragon. If
for any reason the winner is unsuccessful,
the first runner-up will take his place
and so on and so forth. Some of you
may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing
to make. (cheers) Let the tournament
begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is
that? It's hideous!

SHREK
(turns to look at Donkey and then back
at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice.
It's just a donkey.

FARQUAAD
Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who
kills the ogre will be named champion!
Have it him!

MEN
Get him!

SHREK
Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps
into a table where there are mugs of
beer)

CROWD
Go ahead! Get him!

SHREK
(holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just
settle this over a pint?

CROWD
Kill the beast!

SHREK
No? All right then. (drinks the beer)
Come on!

He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel
of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out drenching the
other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides
past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped.
As Shrek begins to fight Donkey hops up onto one of the larger
beer barrels. It breaks free of it's ropes and begins to roll.
Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much
fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice
to say that Shrek kicks butt.

DONKEY
Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!

Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkeys. Shrek
gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd.

SHREK
Yeah!

A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time
and sees him.

WOMAN
The chair! Give him the chair!

Shrek smashes a chair over the guys back. Finally all the men
are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding
sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild.

SHREK
Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you
very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try
the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs)

The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on
Shrek.

HEAD GUARD
Shall I give the order, sir?

FARQUAAD
No, I have a better idea. People of
DuLoc, I give you our champion!

SHREK
What?

FARQUAAD
Congratulations, ogre. You're won the
honor of embarking on a great and noble
quest.

SHREK
Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest
to get my swamp back.

FARQUAAD
Your swamp?

SHREK
Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those
fairy tale creatures!

FARQUAAD
Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you
a deal. Go on this quest for me, and
I'll give you your swamp back.

SHREK
Exactly the way it was?

FARQUAAD
Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.


SHREK
And the squatters?

FARQUAAD
As good as gone.

SHREK
What kind of quest?

Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field
heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.

DONKEY
Let me get this straight. You're gonna
go fight a dragon and rescue a princess
just so Farquaad will give you back
a swamp which you only don't have because
he filled it full of freaks in the first
place. Is that about right?

SHREK
You know, maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.

DONKEY
I don't get it. Why don't you just pull
some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle
him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds
his bones to make your bread, the whole
ogre trip.

SHREK
Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have
decapitated an entire village and put
their heads on a pike, gotten a knife,
cut open their spleen and drink their
fluids. Does that sound good to you?


DONKEY
Uh, no, not really, no.

SHREK
For your information, there's a lot
more to ogres than people think.

DONKEY
Example?

SHREK
Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
(he holds out his onion)

DONKEY
(sniffs the onion) They stink?

SHREK
Yes - - No!

DONKEY
They make you cry?

SHREK
No!

DONKEY
You leave them in the sun, they get
all brown, start sproutin' little white
hairs.

SHREK
No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres
have layers! Onions have layers. You
get it? We both have layers. (he heaves
a sigh and then walks off)

DONKEY
(trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both
have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know,
not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody
loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

SHREK
I don't care... what everyone likes.
Ogres are not like cakes.

DONKEY
You know what else everybody likes?
Parfaits. Have you ever met a person,
you say, "Let's get some parfait," they
say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"?
Parfaits are delicious.

SHREK
No! You dense, irritating, miniature
beast of burden! Ogres are like onions!
And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.


DONKEY
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
on the whole damn planet.

SHREK
You know, I think I preferred your humming.


DONKEY
Do you have a tissue or something? I'm
making a mess. Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.

They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through
a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying
to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem,
so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out.

DRAGON'S KEEP

Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to
house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano.


DONKEY
(sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
You gotta warn somebody before you just
crack one off. My mouth was open and
everything.

SHREK
Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd
be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We
must be getting close.

DONKEY
Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking
about it's the brimstone. I know what
I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It
didn't come off no stone neither.


They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There
is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where
the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very
foreboding.

SHREK
Sure, it's big enough, but look at the
location. (laughs...then the laugh turns
into a groan)

DONKEY
Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said
ogres have layers?

SHREK
Oh, aye.

DONKEY
Well, I have a bit of a confession to
make. Donkeys don't have layers. We
wear our fear right out there on our
sleeves.

SHREK
Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.


DONKEY
You know what I mean.

SHREK
You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.


DONKEY
No, I'm just a little uncomfortable
about being on a rickety bridge over
a boiling like of lava!

SHREK
Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside
ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll
just tackle this thing together one
little baby step at a time.

DONKEY
Really?

SHREK
Really, really.

DONKEY
Okay, that makes me feel so much better.


SHREK
Just keep moving. And don't look down.


DONKEY
Okay, don't look down. Don't look down.
Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't
look down. (he steps through a rotting
board and ends up looking straight down
into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me
off, please!

SHREK
But you're already halfway.

DONKEY
But I know that half is safe!

SHREK
Okay, fine. I don't have time for this.
You go back.

DONKEY
Shrek, no! Wait!

SHREK
Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance
then, shall me? (bounces and sways the
bridge)

DONKEY
Don't do that!

SHREK
Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces
the bridge again)

DONKEY
Yes, that!

SHREK
Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to
bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across
the bridge)

DONKEY
No, Shrek! No! Stop it!

SHREK
You said do it! I'm doin' it.

DONKEY
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek,
I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground)
Oh!

SHREK
That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks
towards the castle)

DONKEY
Cool. So where is this fire-breathing
pain-in-the-neck anyway?

SHREK
Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
(chuckles)

DONKEY
I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.


INSIDE THE CASTLE

DONKEY
You afraid?

SHREK
No.

DONKEY
But...

SHREK
Shh.

DONKEY
Oh, good. Me neither. (sees a skeleton
and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong
with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
response to an unfamiliar situation.
Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might
add. With a dragon that breathes fire
and eats knights and breathes fire,
it sure doesn't mean you're a coward
if you're a little scared. I sure as
heck ain't no coward. I know that.


SHREK
Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up.
Now go over there and see if you can
find any stairs.

DONKEY
Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for
the princess.

SHREK
(putting on a helmet) The princess will
be up the stairs in the highest room
in the tallest tower.

DONKEY
What makes you think she'll be there?


SHREK
I read it in a book once. (walks off)


DONKEY
Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle
the stairs. I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs
won't know which way they're goin'.
(walks off)

EMPTY ROOM

Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room.


DONKEY
I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it
to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm
the stair master. I've mastered the
stairs. I wish I had a step right here.
I'd step all over it.

ELSEWHERE

Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window.

SHREK
Well, at least we know where the princess
is, but where's the...

DONKEY
(os) Dragon!

Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again.
Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon
breathes fire.

SHREK
Donkey, look out! (he manages to get
a hold of the dragons tail and holds
on) Got ya!

The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek
goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the
tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying
on the floor.

DONKEY
Oh! Aah! Aah!

Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small
part of the bridge he's on.

DONKEY
No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh,
what large teeth you have. (the dragon
growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth.
I know you probably hear this all time
from your food, but you must bleach,
'cause that is one dazzling smile you
got there. Do I detect a hint of minty
freshness? And you know what else? You're
- - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure!
I mean, of course you're a girl dragon.
You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
(the dragon begins fluttering her eyes
at him) What's the matter with you?
You got something in your eye? Ohh.
Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay,
but you know, I'm, uh...(the dragon
blows a smoke ring in the shape of a
heart right at him, and he coughs) I'm
an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd
work out if you're gonna blow smoke
rings. Shrek! (the dragon picks him
up with her teeth and carries him off)
No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

FIONA'S ROOM

Shrek groans as he gets up off the floor. His back is to Fiona
so she straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She
then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off
the side table. She then lays back down and appears to be asleep.
Shrek turns and goes over to her. He looks down at Fiona for
a moment and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders
and shakes her away.

FIONA
Oh! Oh!

SHREK
Wake up!

FIONA
What?

SHREK
Are you Princess Fiona?

FIONA
I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to
rescue me.

SHREK
Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!

FIONA
But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our
first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful,
romantic moment?

SHREK
Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.


FIONA
Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should
sweep me off my feet out yonder window
and down a rope onto your valiant steed.


SHREK
You've had a lot of time to plan this,
haven't you?

FIONA
(smiles) Mm-hmm.

Shrek breaks the lock on her door and pulls her out and down
the hallway.

FIONA
But we have to savor this moment! You
could recite an epic poem for me. A
ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!


SHREK
I don't think so.

FIONA
Can I at least know the name of my champion?


SHREK
Uh, Shrek.

FIONA
Sir Shrek. (clears throat and holds
out a handkerchief) I pray that you
take this favor as a token of my gratitude.


SHREK
Thanks!

Suddenly they hear the dragon roar.

FIONA
(surprised)You didn't slay the dragon?


SHREK
It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
(takes off running and drags Fiona behind
him.)

FIONA
But this isn't right! You were meant
to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying.
That's what all the other knights did.


SHREK
Yeah, right before they burst into flame.


FIONA
That's not the point. (Shrek suddenly
stops and she runs into him.) Oh! (Shrek
ignores her and heads for a wooden door
off to the side.) Wait. Where are you
going? The exit's over there.

SHREK
Well, I have to save my ass.

FIONA
What kind of knight are you?

SHREK
One of a kind. (opens the door into
the throne room)

DONKEY

pusegutt
05.11.2009 13:44

Bra!
10
anbefalinger
jazzå ja! På den tida ver forholda i Østerike veldig dårlige??
haha, ver og østerike, dette er jo et genialt produkt! som humor!  Smile :-\)

your senserli, puzegutt

Trond Giske
10.12.2012 13:40

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9
anbefalinger
Veldig bra artikkel. Noen små feil ellers veldig bra !

Smartgruppe
06.03.2015 17:46

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Her er tekster uten feil: https://rudentis.wordpress.com

Brian
19.01.2017 12:42

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9
anbefalinger
jeg sugde brian

nils
16.10.2008 12:09

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8
anbefalinger
holder på å skrive om slutten av andre verdenskrig på nynorsk=S leter etter fakta, men litt sress å finne=S

silje
26.04.2009 16:50

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8
anbefalinger
skal skrive slutten om andre verdens krigen

Maryam.a.
10.05.2009 20:18

Bra!
8
anbefalinger
Veldig fin og informasjonsrik artikkel, men du hadde mage skrivefeil. Du må enten skrive på nynorsk eller bokmål...du blader veldig...Har du kopiert tenksten fra 9.klasse boka?(historie boka) og forandra på noen ord?...

Veel
05.11.2009 13:43

Bra!
8
anbefalinger
til samen: tenkte egentlig jeg skulle disse denne latterlige stilen, men istedenfor velger jeg å lage et bedre produkt som du foreslår, siden det kommer til å ta meg nærmere 2 minutter.

Lars
10.12.2009 14:17

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8
anbefalinger
Joda josie, helt ok ..
masse feil da, heheeeeh

Naughty_gitl
10.12.2009 14:22

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8
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fin nynorsk

Ida
25.02.2010 20:30

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8
anbefalinger
Liker at mange kommenterer skrivefeilene i denne artikkelen, og ja det er ikke verdens beste nynorsk... Men det er faktisk fler feil i kommentarene til folk her, så gratulerer til dere som kommentarer. Var greit innhold, men så ikke helt artikkelen her.

News
09.03.2010 22:39

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8
anbefalinger
Bra ny skole startside, spesielt om du bruker skoleportalen og itslearning. News http://s2.webstarts.com/homepageNO/

Mathias og sturla
29.04.2015 09:52

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8
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lolzzzz

Jostein i 1STD
10.12.2009 14:14

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7
anbefalinger
hehe, jeg er kul. sitter bak Nico

veeel, dette var en bra tekst, ikkesant folkens?

Kuksnurk
09.10.2015 12:39

Bra!
7
anbefalinger
å fy fan denne var dårlig

Ice ice baby
04.04.2017 15:58

Bra!
7
anbefalinger
Hvist jeg får 80 likes skal jeg ta ice bucket challange


05.11.2009 13:44

Bra!
6
anbefalinger
Hehe.. En kjempe god norsk tekst. Du skriver lite gramatik feil

Hitlers killers friend
03.12.2013 22:05

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6
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og jeg voldtok kona hans også

sakkakakka
16.10.2015 13:48

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Nokia e fin og knall kuksnurk

Hitler
13.03.2017 10:51

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6
anbefalinger

Ich verlor den Krieg nicht! Ich komme wieder verdammt Jude Hölle richtige Bank diesmal bekommen sollte!

Er du dumb?
03.12.2013 22:05

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5
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Er du dumb?

negermann
03.05.2019 13:06

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5
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negermannnen er meg

GUD
03.12.2013 22:06

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4
anbefalinger
Adolf killer HAR FEIL. d va æ som drepte han

bæsj
02.04.2014 18:52

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4
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dårlig...

hei
07.04.2014 09:20

Bra!
4
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denne teksten ga ikke mening


27.11.2014 20:13

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4
anbefalinger
Jeg skal drepe deg, og suge morra di!!!! *Suger* treff

your mom gay
27.02.2018 12:41

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4
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your mom gay

Robin
21.05.2013 19:57

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3
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Denne artikkelen ville jeg heller kalt en faktatekst. Bare hvis allt hadde vært riktig.


18.11.2014 19:30

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Hvordan legger jeg ut et eget artikkel? jeg skjønner ikke!


03.12.2014 20:50

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2
anbefalinger
Herregud! At det går an å være så frekke. Jeg syns litt synd på den som har skrevet denne teksten. Det kan gått hende at det er noen feil her men samma det! Dere er så frekke og slemme som sier at denne teksten er "drit dårlig." Og spesielt dere som sie at "jeg skal suge morra de" og alt sånn er så barnslige og frekke at det er stakkarslig.

therealstiannorway
02.03.2016 09:41

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
Dette minner meg om da jeg fikk penta kill. helt NYDELIIIGGG
possi

Hitler
21.04.2016 09:56

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
Jeg tapte ikke krigen! Jeg kommer tilbake jævla jødehelvete skal få ordentlig bank denne gangen!

Churchill
21.04.2016 09:57

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
Faen a Hitler? ikke nå igjen... Nå blir det ww3 folkens

Stalin
21.04.2016 10:00

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
Come on a! Jeg hadde enorme tap under ww2 og nå ww3!? Hvordan skal dette gå?

Fitta til kuken til mora di
24.02.2017 18:38

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
Trenger du en kått stiv kuk har jeg jævlig dårlig skrevet men

Solveig
13.03.2017 10:47

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
hitler er her i argentina med tante.... han sover på sofaen og spiser all cornflaksen min.... mens om kvelden går han inn til tante og koser seg mens han lærer ho om tysk propagande og om jødedom og hans tro.

fin tekst!
24.03.2017 11:13

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
ja.


11.01.2018 12:29

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
jeg er homo

dick
20.04.2018 12:13

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
majeen mahendran liker stefan stankovic

dick
20.04.2018 12:14

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
majeen mahendran liker stefan stankovic

Robin Robinson
27.11.2014 20:14

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
asdsad jeg elsker deg, la oss ha sex!!!

gdgd
07.02.2015 14:16

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
Hey, try http://clashofclanshelper.com/ - I got free Clash of Clans gems here! Get yous too in less than two minutes!! THE ONLY WORKING FREE GEMS GIVEAWAY!!(qPaAuAu0Rt)

Dj Jones
12.03.2015 10:21

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
*Beat spilles i bakgrunnen* Halla gutta dette er DJ Jones! Synes det var en fantastisk dårlig rapport! *Kaster seg ut over publikum*

MLG
09.02.2016 17:22

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
JÆVLIG BRA!!!!!!

nigger ass
27.02.2018 12:41

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
NIGGGGGGGGGER


14.09.2018 06:52

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
Goddag, jeg er Josef Lewis. En anerkjent, legitim og akkreditert utlåner. Vi gir ut lån av alle slag på en veldig rask og enkel måte, Personlig lån, Billån, Hjemslån, Studentlån, Bedriftslån, Oppdragsgiver, Gjeldskonsolidering. etc

Få godkjent for en bedrift eller personlige lån i dag og få penger innen samme uke av søknaden. Disse personlige lånene kan godkjennes uavhengig av din kreditt og det er mange glade kunder å sikkerhetskopiere dette kravet. Men du vil ikke bare få det personlige lånet du trenger; du vil få den billigste. Dette er vårt løfte: Vi garanterer Den laveste prisen for alle lån med gratis sikkerhetsfordeler.

Vi streber etter å gi et positivt varig inntrykk ved å overgå forventningene til kundene mine i alt jeg gjør. Vårt mål er å behandle deg med verdighet og respekt, samtidig som du yter den høyeste kvaliteten i tide. Ingen sosial sikkerhet Antall kreves og ingen kredittsjekk kreves, 100% garantert. Vennligst svar umiddelbart ved å bruke detaljene nedenfor hvis du er interessert i et lån og være fri for svindel ..

E-post: progresiveloan@yahoo.com
Ring / WhatsApp: +16626183756
Nettsted: https://progresivefunding.wordpress.com


Schmackos
26.11.2018 11:43

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
Kjøp Schmackos et godt alternativ i hverdagen!!!

En Schmackos for dagen er bra for magen!

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) ┻━┻ ︵ \( °□° )/ ︵ ┻━┻ ┬─┬ノ( º _ º&#
04.07.2019 18:19

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ Wink ;-\)

┻━┻ ︵ \( °□° )/ ︵ ┻━┻

┬─┬ノ- ( º _ ºノ Wink ;-\)

(ノಥ益ಥ)- ノ ┻━┻

┬──┬ ¯\\_(ツ Wink ;-\)

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻

┻━┻ ︵ ¯\\(ツ Wink ;-\)/¯ ︵ ┻━┻

(╯°Д°A- 289;╯︵ /(.□ . \\)

ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻

Angry Text Emoticons



ಠ_ಠ

┌ͪ- 5;┐(◣_◢ Wink ;-\)┌∩┐

+- 14;(ಠ益ಠ Wink ;-\)

(ง’̀-‘- ́ Wink ;-\)

(ಠ_ಠ Wink ;-\)

╭∩&#- 9582;(︶︿︶)╭- 745;╮






Animal Text Emoticons



(ᵔᴥᵔ Wink ;-\)

(=- ^ェ^ Smile :-\)

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

(}- 39;⊝・)

=^● ⋏ ●^=





Happy Text Emoticons



( 。- ・_・。 Wink ;-\)人(。・_- 2539;。 )

└(^o^ )X( ^o^)┘

(✿◠‿ - 696 Wink ;-\)

(。◕‿◕。 Wink ;-\)

- 2541;༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
-

(づ。◕‿‿◕。-  Wink ;-\)

~(˘▾˘~)

ヘ( ^o^)ノ\(^_^ )

(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

。^‿^。

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )





WTF Text Emoticons



- ☉_☉

¯\\(°_o)/¯

(゜-゜ Wink ;-\)

-
(・_・ヾ

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(¬_¬)

( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭





Deal With It Text Emoticons



(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (΁- 6;■_■ Wink ;-\)

(▀̿Ĺ̯▀- ̿ ̿ Wink ;-\)



Check out Part 2!

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Kys July 3, 2019 at 12 Surprised :-o9 am
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dev July 2, 2019 at 7:32 pm
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___- __________________________█░░░&- #9617;░█▀
__________________________- _____▀▀▀▀
Reply
Aimee N Lawter July 1, 2019 at 2:54 pm
ಥʖ̯ಥ [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅ Wink ;-\)̲̅$̲̅] ━- ╤デ╦︻(▀̿̿Ĺ- ;̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ Wink ;-\) give me my money ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) without a fight ━╤デ- ╦︻(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿&#- 831;▀̿ ̿ Wink ;-\) *boom* *bang* *pow* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)︻̷┻̿&#- 9552;━一-ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ Wink ;-\)ᕗ ow ow *waaaaaaaahh*
Reply
Aimee N Lawter July 1, 2019 at 2:45 pm
┬┴┬┴┤ ͡°)/\\╱\\ is everyone done arguing
Reply
Kakka June 25, 2019 at 5:17 pm
……….
.……..… /´¯/)………….(\\¯`\\
…………/….//……….. …\\\\….\\
………../….//………… ….\\\\….\\
…../´¯/…./´¯\\………../¯ `\\….\\¯`\\
.././…/…./….- /.|_……_|.\\….\\….\\…\\.\\
(.(….(….(…./.)..)..(..(.\\….- )….)….).)
.\\…………….\\/../…..\\….\\/…………../
..\\…………….- . /……..\\………………/
…\\…………… (……….)……………./.
Reply
monkey June 19, 2019 at 4 Surprised :-o2 am
▒▒▒▒▒▄█- ████████- ;█▄▒▒▒▒▒
- 618;▒▒▄████&#- 9608;███████&- #9608;█▄▒▒▒
▒ρ- 8;███████`- 08;███████ - 608;██▒▒
▒▐█- ██▀▀▀▀▀█- ;█▀▀▀▀▀█π- 8;█▌▒
▒███&#- 9618;▒▌■▐▒▒▒&- #9618;▌■▐▒▒██- █▒
▒▐██▄`- 18;▀▀▀▒▒▒▒ - 600;▀▀▒▄██▌&#- 9618;
▒▒▀████- ;▒▄▄▒▒▄▄ρ- 8;████▀▒▒
&#- 9618;▒▐███▒▒&- #9618;▀▒▒▀▒▒▒- ███▌▒▒
▒`- 18;███▒▒▒▒ - 618;▒▒▒▒▒▒▒&#- 9608;██▒▒
▒▒▒- ;██▒▒▀▀▀π- 0;▀▀▀▀▒▒█`- 08;▒▒▒
▒▒▒▐&- #9608;█▄▒▒▒▒▒- ▒▒▒▄██▌▒- ;▒▒
▒▒▒▒▀ - 608;███████&#- 9608;███▀▒▒▒&- #9618;
Reply
GAY BIRB June 18, 2019 at 7:21 am
╭∩╮(- 5078;︿︶)╭∩╮

Y- ou people suck OwO
Reply
Kk June 3, 2019 at 10:30 pm
Lol
Reply
Mariel June 11, 2019 at 12:42 am
lol XD ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )
Reply
Kk May 31, 2019 at 9:42 pm
im addicted to hitting the woah

😔
__| |___
/ ✊__/
\\_✊
Reply
Hannah June 19, 2019 at 2:35 am
👁👄👁
___||____
/ ✊🏼_/
\\_✊🏼
Reply
Bre June 29, 2019 at 6 Surprised :-o4 pm
👁👄👁
__||____
/ ✊🏻 _/
\\_ ✊🏻

Hits woha
Reply
Oof June 29, 2019 at 12:23 pm
Lol
Reply
Claudia May 29, 2019 at 7:44 pm
……………………- *” \\ – “::*’\\
………………„-^*” : : „” : : : :: *„
…………..„-* : : :„„–/ : : : : : : : ‘\\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : ‘|
…………/ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : |
…………\\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :’|
…………/ . . . . . . ‘| : : : : : : : 😐
………./ . . . . . . . .’\\ : : : : : : : |
……../ . . . . . . . . . .\\ : : : : : : 😐
……./ . . . . . . . . . . . ‘\\ : : : : : /
……/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*’
….’/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ‘|
…/ . . . . . . . ./ . . . . . . .|
../ . . . . . . . .’/ . . . . . . .’|
./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .’|
‘/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .’|
‘| . . . . . \\ . . . . . . . . . .|
‘| . . . . . . \\„_^- „ . . . . .’|
‘| . . . . . . . . .’\\ .\\ ./ ‘/ . |
| .\\ . . . . . . . . . \\ .” / . ‘|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .’/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .|
‘| . . . . . . . . .’\\ .\\ ./ ‘/ . |
| .\\ . . . . . . . . . \\ .” / . ‘|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .’/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .|
‘| . . . . . . . . .’\\ .\\ ./ ‘/ . |
| .\\ . . . . . . . . . \\ .” / . ‘|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .’/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .|
‘| . . . . . . . . .’\\ .\\ ./ ‘/ . |
Reply
OOfsda May 29, 2019 at 3:45 pm
Chunga Chunga Chunga Chungaroo chungaroo chunga Chunga Chungarooo

∧_∧
  ( ・∀・ Wink ;-\)
 ⊂ ⊂  Wink ;-\)
   ( ( ( 
  (_(_ Wink ;-\)
Reply
Buddy boy May 21, 2019 at 2 Surprised :-o6 pm
( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) when you see the booty
( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆ Wink ;-\) when the booty starts to jiggle
ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ you gotta flex for that booty
( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°) or else the booty will go away
( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ Wink ;-\) and never come back
Reply
UNKNOEWN June 6, 2019 at 10:47 pm
idk why but I used this in roblox

BANNED ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ Wink ;-\)
Reply
jus a player July 1, 2019 at 6:11 pm
same lmao
Reply
Genna May 17, 2019 at 7:50 pm
noice
Reply
Aiden May 16, 2019 at 3:50 am
ˢᵂᴵᴳᴳᴵᵀ- ᵞ
  ∧_∧
  ( ・∀・ Wink ;-\)
 ⊂ ⊂  Wink ;-\)
   ( ( ( 
  (_(_-  Wink ;-\)

ˢᵂᴼᴼᵀᵞ
ӌ- 8;  ∧_∧
      ( ・∀・ Wink ;-\)
      ( U つ
    ) ) )
(_ Wink ;-\)_)
ᴵ’ᴹ
∧_&#- 8743;  
( ・∀・- )
⊂_へ つ
 (_ Wink ;-\)- |
彡 (_ Wink ;-\)

ᶜᴼ&- #7481;ᴵᴺᴳ
∧_∧ - 2288;
(・_・ Wink ;-\)
(っ /
ᴸノ┘
ᶠᴼᴿ ᵀᴴᴬᵀ
  ∧___∧
⊂(・_・ )
 ヽ ⊂二/
 (⌒ Wink ;-\) /

Boot- y.
/     - 2288;  \
|  ● - ;   ● |
\  ___
(•_•)
ˢᴼ ᴵ’ᴹ ᴸᴵᴷᴱ
/ \\
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ᶠᴸᴵᴾ ᵀᴴᴬᵀ ᵀᴬᴮ&- #7480;ᴱ.

┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ Wink ;-\) ᶠᴸᴵᴾ ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᵀᴬ&- #7470;ᴸᴱ.

┻━┻ ︵ \(`0`)// ︵ ┻━┻ ᶠᴸᴵᴾ ᴬᴸᴸ ᵀᴴᴱ ᵀ&- #7468;ᴮᴸᴱˢ

ಠ_ಠ ᶜᴴᴵᴸᴰ. . .

ಠ_ಠ ᴾᵁᵀ.

ಠ__ಠ ᵀᴴᴱ &#- 7488;ᴬᴮᴸᴱˢ.

ಠ___&- #3232; ᴮᴬᶜᴷ.

(╮°-°) - 582;┳━┳

(╯°□°)╯&- #65077; ┻━┻ ᴺᴱᵛᴱᴿ

(•_•)
ˢᴼ ᴵ’ᴹ ᴸᴵᴷᴱ
/ \\
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ᶠᴸᴵᴾ ᵀᴴᴬᵀ ᵀᴬᴮᴸᴱ.

┻- ━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ Wink ;-\) ᶠᴸᴵᴾ ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᵀᴬᴮᴸᴱ.

- ┻━┻ ︵ \(`0`)// ︵ ┻━┻ ᶠᴸᴵᴾ ᴬᴸᴸ ᵀᴴᴱ ᵀᴬᴮᴸ˫- 3;ˢ

ಠ_ಠ ᶜᴴᴵᴸᴰ. . .

ಠ_ಠ ᴾᵁᵀ.

ಠ__ಠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᵀᴬᴮᴸ- ;ᴱˢ.

ಠ___ಠ ᴮᴬK- 80;ᴷ.

(╮°-°)╮┳━┳-

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ᴺᴱᵛᴱᴿ

(•_•)

Ola
29.01.2019 20:45

Bra!
0
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På forsiden nå!

Lyktes med Shakira-fleipen

Torsdag skal Shakira angivelig ha blitt mor til en liten gutt, hevdet kjæresten og toppfotballspilleren Gerard Pique - og lyktes med Twitter-spøken.

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Holmes tas av tidlig

Katie Holmes opplever nå at teaterforestillingen som er hennes første store oppdrag etter skilsmissen fra Tom Cruise, blir tatt av - svært tidlig.

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