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A story about us
Novelle om kjærlighetssorg og savn.
|Tema:||Sorg og savn||Verktøy:|
Do you remember me? I mean, really remember me. Do you think of me every day? I mean, really think of me. Like I remember you, like I think of you… At least in the way I think of you now, after I found the picture of us. I wonder if you remember the time we took that picture. It was summer, the weather was hot. It all was so perfect, just like in a movie. You and me, holiday and sunshine. Love.
It was the summer before you moved away. You told me in April, and from that day I dread. Was 102 days all we had? 102 lousy days! It was the same as nothing when we were meant to be together the whole life. We had planed our life down to the tiniest little detail, just for fun. But I don’t blame you for leaving. You left because of something you care about. But I asked you a question. Do you remember the picture? “Let’s remember this forever“you said. “Let me have something to you remember you by when I’m gone” Of course I said yes! I would’ve said yes if you asked me to join you to the moon. I would’ve said yes if you told me to eat umpteenth ice creams at one time. So we took the picture. Your arm around my shoulder, my cheek up to yours. My hand holding your hand. I wish it could’ve last forever…
Now I’m sitting here with you between my fingers. A copy of you. A copy can never be as good as the original. Damn it! It’s so true. This picture of you gave me feelings I never even thought I had anymore. When I look at it, I feel that I still love you. Feel that I never should’ve let you go. But when I don’t look at it, I never feel that way. I wonder why… Why we didn’t made it. Why you don’t remember me anymore.
I don’t think you know how hard it was for me to take the decision. How hard it was to say the words “I’ve met someone else. It doesn’t work anymore”. I don’t think you know the pain I felt when I gave you away. Never to get you back. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever done…Now it’s you who have found another. I don’t feel pain and I don’t feel jealousy. I’m just afraid you’ll forget me. Or just remember me as a testing person. Who couldn’t make you feel good in the way your girlfriend does now. Just because I was younger, just because I didn’t believed in my self. Just because I was me… I’m over you, honey. I so happy you’ve met someone. I’m so happy you’re happy. I’m just afraid I will be the girl who wasn’t any good… But to me, you will always be the first one I loved. Always be the one who made me feel good.
It took me four months to get over you. Not to forget you, just to stop feeling so strong for you. I don’t love you anymore. Not in the way I did before. But I will always, always care about you! I don’t need a picture to remember all our good days, all our bad days. I just need the memory of you in my heart. A memory which will never fade.
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