2the name of my champion?
Sir Shrek. (clears throat and holds
out a handkerchief) I pray that you
take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
Suddenly they hear the dragon roar.
(surprised)You didn\'t slay the dragon?
It\'s on my to-do list. Now come on!
(takes off running and drags Fiona behind
But this isn\'t right! You were meant
to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying.
That\'s what all the other knights did.
Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
That\'s not the point. (Shrek suddenly
stops and she runs into him.) Oh! (Shrek
ignores her and heads for a wooden door
off to the side.) Wait. Where are you
going? The exit\'s over there.
Well, I have to save my ass.
What kind of knight are you?
One of a kind. (opens the door into
the throne room)
(os) Slow down. Slow down, baby, please.
I believe it\'s healthy to get to know
someone over a long period of time.
Just call me old-fashioned. (laughs
worriedly) (we see him up close and
from a distance as Shrek sneaks into
the room) I don\'t want to rush into
a physical relationship. I\'m not emotionally
ready for a commitment of, uh, this
- - Magnitude really is the word I\'m
looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that
is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what
are you doing? Okay, okay. Let\'s just
back up a little and take this one step
at a time. We really should get to know
each other first as friends or pen pals.
I\'m on the road a lot, but I just love
receiving cards - - I\'d really love
to stay, but - - Don\'t do that! That\'s
my tail! That\'s my personal tail. You\'re
gonna tear it off. I don\'t give permission
- - What are you gonna do with that?
Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No.
No, no, no. No! Oh!
Shrek grabs a chain that\'s connected to the chandelier and swings
toward the dragon. He misses and he swings back again. He looks
up and spots that the chandelier is right above the dragons head.
He pulls on the chain and it releases and he falls down and bumps
Donkey out of the way right as the dragon is about to kiss him.
Instead the dragon kisses Shreks\' butt. She opens her eyes and
roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto
her head, but it\'s too big and it goes over her head and forms
a sort of collar for her. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey
take off running. Very \'Matrix\' style. Shrek grabs Donkey and
then grabs Princess Fiona as he runs past her.
Yeah, it\'s getting him to shut up that\'s
They all start screaming as the dragon gains on them. Shrek spots
a descending slide and jumps on. But unfortunately there is a
crack in the stone and it hits Shrek right in the groin. His
eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide he stumbles
off and walks lightly.
Shrek gets them close to the exit and sets down Donkey and Fiona.
Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I\'ll
take care of the dragon.
Shrek grabs a sword and heads back toward the interior of the
castle. He throws the sword down in between several overlapping
chain links. The chain links are attached to the chandelier that
is still around the dragons neck.
They all take off running for the exit with the dragon in hot
pursuit. They make it to the bridge and head across. The dragons
breathes fire and the bridge begins to burn. They all hang on
for dear life as the ropes holding the bridge up collapse. They
are swung to the other side. As they hang upside down they look
in horror as the dragon makes to fly over the boiling lava to
get them. But suddenly the chandelier with the chain jerk the
dragon back and she\'s unable to get to them. Our gang climbs
quickly to safety as the dragon looks angry and then gives a
sad whimper as she watches Donkey walk away.
(sliding down the \'volcano\' hill) You
did it! You rescued me! You\'re amazing.
(behind her Donkey falls down the hill)
You\'re - - You\'re wonderful. You\'re...
(turns and sees Shrek fall down the
hill and bump into Donkey) a little
unorthodox I\'ll admit. But thy deed
is great, and thy heart is pure. I am
eternally in your debt. (Donkey clears
his throat.) And where would a brave
knight be without his noble steed?
I hope you heard that. She called me
a noble steed. She think I\'m a steed.
The battle is won. You may remove your
helmet, good Sir Knight.
I have helmet hair.
Please. I would\'st look upon the face
of my rescuer.
No, no, you wouldn\'t - - \'st.
But how will you kiss me?
What? (to Donkey) That wasn\'t in the
Maybe it\'s a perk.
No, it\'s destiny. Oh, you must know
how it goes. A princess locked in a
tower and beset by a dragon is rescued
by a brave knight, and then they share
true love\'s first kiss.
Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait.
Wait. You think that Shrek is you true
Both Donkey and Shrek burst out laughing.
You think Shrek is your true love!
What is so funny?
Let\'s just say I\'m not your type, okay?Fiona:
Of course, you are. You\'re my rescuer.
Now - - Now remove your helmet.
Look. I really don\'t think this is a
Just take off the helmet.
I\'m not going to.
Take it off.
Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.
(takes off his helmet)
You- - You\'re a- - an ogre.
Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is
all wrong. You\'re not supposed to be
Princess, I was sent to rescue you by
Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who
wants to marry you.
Then why didn\'t he come rescue me?
Good question. You should ask him that
when we get there.
But I have to be rescued by my true
love, not by some ogre and his- - his
Well, so much for noble steed.
You\'re not making my job any easier.
I\'m sorry, but your job is not my problem.
You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he
wants to rescue me properly, I\'ll be
waiting for him right here.
Hey! I\'m no one\'s messenger boy, all
right? (ominous) I\'m a delivery boy.
(he swiftly picks her up and swings
her over his shoulder like she was a
sack of potatoes)
You wouldn\'t dare. Put me down!
Ya comin\', Donkey?
I\'m right behind ya.
Put me down, or you will suffer the
consequences! This is not dignified!
Put me down!
A little time has passed and Fiona has calmed down. She just
hangs there limply while Shrek carries her.
Okay, so here\'s another question. Say
there\'s a woman that digs you, right,
but you don\'t really like her that way.
How do you let her down real easy so
her feelings aren\'t hurt, but you don\'t
get burned to a crisp and eaten?
You just tell her she\'s not your true
love. Everyone knows what happens when
you find your...(Shrek drops her on
the ground) Hey! The sooner we get to
DuLoc the better.
You\'re gonna love it there, Princess.
And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad?
What\'s he like?
Let me put it this way, Princess. Men
of Farquaad\'s stature are in short supply.
(he and Donkey laugh)
Shrek then proceeds to splash water onto his face to wash off
the dust and grime.
I don\'t know. There are those who think
little of him. (they laugh again) Fiona:
Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You\'re
just jealous you can never measure up
to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
Yeah, well, maybe you\'re right, Princess.
But I\'ll let you do the \"measuring\"
when you see him tomorrow.
(looks at the setting sun) Tomorrow?
It\'ll take that long? Shouldn\'t we stop
to make camp?
No, that\'ll take longer. We can keep
But there\'s robbers in the woods.
Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is starting
to sound good.
Hey, come on. I\'m scarier than anything
we\'re going to see in this forest.
I need to find somewhere to camp now!
Both Donkey and Shrek\'s ears lower as they shrink away from her.
Shrek has found a cave that appears to be in good order. He shoves
a stone boulder out of the way to reveal the cave.
Hey! Over here.
Shrek, we can do better than that. I
don\'t think this is fit for a princess.
No, no, it\'s perfect. It just needs
a few homey touches.
Homey touches? Like what? (he hears
a tearing noise and looks over at Fiona
who has torn the bark off of a tree.)
A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee
good night. (goes into the cave and
puts the bark door up behind her)
You want me to read you a bedtime story?
(os) I said good night!
Shrek looks at Donkey for a second and then goes to move the
boulder back in front of the entrance to the cave with Fiona
Shrek, What are you doing?
(laughs) I just- - You know - - Oh,
come on. I was just kidding.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Shrek and Donkey are sitting around a campfire. They are staring
up into the sky as Shrek points out certain star constellations
And, uh, that one, that\'s Throwback,
the only ogre to ever spit over three
Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future
from these stars?
The stars don\'t tell the future, Donkey.
They tell stories. Look, there\'s Bloodnut,
the Flatulent. You can guess what he\'s
I know you\'re making this up.
No, look. There he is, and there\'s the
group of hunters running away from his
That ain\'t nothin\' but a bunch of little
You know, Donkey, sometimes things are
more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it.
(heaves a big sigh) Hey, Shrek, what
we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
You know, when we\'re through rescuing
We? Donkey, there\'s no \"we\". There\'s
no \"our\". There\'s just me and my swamp.
The first thing I\'m gonna do is build
a ten-foot wall around my land.
You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real
deep just now. You know what I think?
I think this whole wall thing is just
a way to keep somebody out.
No, do ya think?
Are you hidin\' something?
Never mind, Donkey.
Oh, this is another one of those onion
things, isn\'t it?
No, this is one of those drop-it and
leave-it alone things.
Why don\'t you want to talk about it?
Why do you want to talk about it?
Why are you blocking?
I\'m not blocking.
Oh, yes, you are.
Donkey, I\'m warning you.
Who you trying to keep out?
(pause) Oh, now we\'re gettin\' somewhere.
At this point Fiona pulls the \'door\' away from the entrance to
the cave and peaks out. Neither of the guys see her.
Oh! For the love of Pete! (gets up and
walks over to the edge of the cliff
and sits down)
What\'s your problem? What you got against
the whole world anyway?
Look, I\'m not the one with the problem,
okay? It\'s the world that seems to have
a problem with me. People take one look
at me and go. \"Aah! Help! Run! A big,
stupid, ugly ogre!\" They judge me before
they even know me. That\'s why I\'m better
You know what? When we met, I didn\'t
think you was just a big, stupid, ugly
Yeah, I know.
So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
Well, there\'s, um, Gabby, the Small
Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny
one, right there. That one there?
Fiona puts the door back.
That\'s the moon.
DuLoc - Farquaad\'s Bedroom
The camera pans over a lot of wedding stuff. Soft music plays
in the background. Farquaad is in bed, watching as the Magic
Mirror shows him Princess Fiona.
Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror,
show her to me. Show me the princess.
The Mirror rewinds and begins to play again from the beginning.
Farquaad looks down at his bare chest and pulls the sheet up
to cover himself as though Fiona could see him as he gazes sheepishly
at her image in the mirror.
Fiona walks out of the cave. She glances at Shrek and Donkey
who are still sleeping. She wanders off into the woods and comes
across a blue bird. She begins to sing. The bird sings along
with her. She hits higher and higher notes and the bird struggles
to keep up with her. Suddenly the pressure of the note is too
big and the bird explodes. Fiona looks a little sheepish, but
she eyes the eggs that the bird left behind. Time lapse, Fiona
is now cooking the eggs for breakfast. Shrek and Donkey are still
sleeping. Shrek wakes up and looks at Fiona. Donkey\'s talking
in his sleep.
(quietly) Mmm, yeah, you know I like
it like that. Come on, baby. I said
I like it.
Donkey, wake up. (shakes him)
What? (stretches and yawns)
Good morning. Hm, how do you like your
Oh, good morning, Princess!
Fiona gets up and sets the eggs down in front of them.
What\'s all this about?
You know, we kind of got off to a bad
start yesterday. I wanted to make it
up to you. I mean, after all, you did
Donkey sniffs the eggs and licks his lips.
Well, eat up. We\'ve got a big day ahead
of us. (walks off)
They are once again on their way. They are walking through the
forest. Shrek belches.
What? It\'s a compliment. Better out
than in, I always say. (laughs)
Well, it\'s no way to behave in front
of a princess.
She\'s as nasty as you are.
(chuckles) You know, you\'re not exactly
what I expected.
Well, maybe you shouldn\'t judge people
before you get to know them.
She smiles and then continues walking, singing softly. Suddenly
from out of nowhere, a man swings down and swoops Fiona up into
La liberte! Hey!
(to Robin Hood) What are you doing?
Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior!
And I am rescuing you from this green...(kisses
up her arm while Fiona pulls back in
Hey! That\'s my princess! Go find you
Please, monster! Can\'t you see I\'m a
little busy here?
(getting fed up) Look, pal, I don\'t
know who you think you are!
Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. Please
let me introduce myself. Oh, Merry Men.
Suddenly an accordion begins to play and the Merry men pop out
from the bushes. They begin to sing Robin\'s theme song.
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.
I steal from the rich and give to the
He takes a wee percentage,
But I\'m not greedy. I rescue pretty
damsels, man, I\'m good.
What a guy, Monsieur Hood.
Break it down. I like an honest fight
and a saucy little maid...
What he\'s basically saying is he likes
Paid. So...When an ogre in the bush
grabs a lady by the tush. That\'s bad.
When a beauty\'s with a beast it makes
me awfully mad.
He\'s mad, he\'s really, really mad.
I\'ll take my blade and ram it through
your heart, keep your eyes on me, boys
\'cause I\'m about to start...
There is a grunt as Fiona swings down from the tree limb and
knocks Robin Hood unconscious.
Man, that was annoying!
Shrek looks at her in admiration.
Oh, you little- - (shoots an arrow at
Fiona but she ducks out of the way)
The arrow flies toward Donkey who jumps into Shrek\'s arms to
get out of the way. The arrow proceeds to just bounce off a tree.
Another fight sequence begins and Fiona gives a karate yell and
then proceeds to beat the crap out of the Merry Men. There is
a very interesting \'Matrix\' moment here when Fiona pauses in
mid-air to fix her hair. Finally all of the Merry Men are down,
and Fiona begins walking away.
Uh, shall we?
Hold the phone. (drops Donkey and begins
walking after Fiona) Oh! Whoa, whoa,
whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come
That! Back there. That was amazing!
Where did you learn that?
Well...(laughs) when one lives alone,
uh, one has to learn these things in
case there\'s a...(gasps and points)
there\'s an arrow in your butt!
What? (turns and looks) Oh, would you
look at that? (he goes to pull it out
but flinches because it\'s tender)
Oh, no. This is all my fault. I\'m so
(walking up) Why? What\'s wrong?
Shrek\'s hurt. Shrek\'s hurt? Oh, no,
Shrek\'s gonna die.
Donkey, I\'m okay.
You can\'t do this to me, Shrek. I\'m
too young for you to die. Keep you legs
elevated. Turn your head and cough.
Does anyone know the Heimlich?
Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help
Shrek, run into the woods and find me
a blue flower with red thorns.
Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I\'m on
it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don\'t die
Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay
away from the light!
SHREK & FIONA
Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
What are the flowers for?
(like it\'s obvious) For getting rid
Now you hold still, and I\'ll yank this
thing out. (gives the arrow a little
(jumps away) Ow! Hey! Easy with the
As they continue to talk Fiona keeps going after the arrow and
Shrek keeps dodging her hands.
I\'m sorry, but it has to come out.
No, it\'s tender.
Now, hold on.
What you\'re doing is the opposite of
Look, time out.
Would you...(grunts as Shrek puts his
hand over her face to stop her from
getting at the arrow) Okay. What do
you propose we do?
Donkey is still looking for the special flower.
Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower,
red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns.
This would be so much easier if I wasn\'t
color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
Hold on, Shrek! I\'m comin\'! (rips a
flower off a nearby bush that just happens
to be a blue flower with red thorns)
THE FOREST PATH
Ow! Not good.
Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
(Shrek grunts as she pulls) It\'s just
Ow! Ohh! (he jerks and manages to fall
over with Fiona on top of him)
(throwing Fiona off of him) Nothing
happend. We were just, uh - -
Look, if you wanted to be alone, all
you had to do was ask. Okay?
Oh, come on! That\'s the last thing on
my mind. The princess here was just-
- (Fiona pulls the arrow out) Ugh! (he
turns to look at Fiona who holds up
the arrow with a smile) Ow!
Hey, what\'s that? (nervous chuckle)
That\'s...is that blood?
Donkey faints. Shrek walks over and picks him up as they continue
on their way.
There is a montage of scenes as the group heads back to DuLoc.
Shrek crawling up to the top of a tree to make it fall over a
small brook so that Fiona won\'t get wet. Shrek then gets up as
Donkey is just about to cross the tree and the tree swings back
into it\'s upright position and Donkey flies off. Shrek swatting
and a bunch of flies and mosquitoes. Fiona grabs a nearby spiderweb
that\'s on a tree branch and runs through the field swinging it
around to catch the bugs. She then hands it to Shrek who begins
eating like it\'s a treat. As he walks off she licks her fingers.
Shrek catching a toad and blowing it up like a balloon and presenting
it to Fiona. Fiona catching a snake, blowing it up, fashioning
it into a balloon animal and presenting it to Shrek. The group
arriving at a windmill that is near DuLoc.
There it is, Princess. Your future awaits
Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks
Lord Farquaad\'s compensating for something,
which I think means he has a really...(Shrek
steps on his hoof) Ow!
Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move
Sure. But, Shrek? I\'m - - I\'m worried
I mean, look at him. He doesn\'t look
What are you talking about? I\'m fine.
(kneels to look him in the eyes) That\'s
what they always say, and then next
thing you know, you\'re on your back.
You know, she\'s right. You look awful.
Do you want to sit down?
Uh, you know, I\'ll make you some tea.
I didn\'t want to say nothin\', but I
got this twinge in my neck, and when
I turn my head like this, look, (turns
his neck in a very sharp way until his
head is completely sideways) Ow! See?
Who\'s hungry? I\'ll find us some dinner.
I\'ll get the firewood.
Hey, where you goin\'? Oh, man, I can\'t
feel my toes! (looks down and yelps)
I don\'t have any toes! I think I need
Shrek has built a fire and is cooking the rest of dinner while
Mmm. This is good. This is really good.
What is this?
Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style.
No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
Well, they\'re also great in stews. Now,
I don\'t mean to brag, but I make a mean
weed rat stew. (chuckles)
Fiona looks at DuLoc and sighs.
I guess I\'ll be dining a little differently
Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp
sometime. I\'ll cook all kind of stuff
for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare
- - you name it.
(smiles) I\'d like that.
They smiles at each other.
I, um, I was wondering...are you...(sighs)
Are you gonna eat that?
(chuckles) Man, isn\'t this romantic?
Just look at that sunset.
(jumps up) Sunset? Oh, no! I mean, it\'s
late. I-It\'s very late.
Wait a minute. I see what\'s goin\' on
here. You\'re afraid of the dark, aren\'t
Yes! Yes, that\'s it. I\'m terrified.
You know, I\'d better go inside.
Don\'t feel bad, Princess. I used to
be afraid of the dark, too, until -
- Hey, no, wait. I\'m still afraid of
Fiona goes inside the windmill and closes the door. Donkey looks
at Shrek with a new eye.
Ohh! Now I really see what\'s goin\' on
Oh, what are you talkin\' about?
I don\'t even wanna hear it. Look, I\'m
an animal, and I got instincts. And
I know you two were diggin\' on each
other. I could feel it.
You\'re crazy. I\'m just bringing her
back to Farquaad.
Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell
the pheromones. Just go on in and tell
her how you feel.
I- - There\'s nothing to tell. Besides,
even if I did tell her that, well, you
know - - and I\'m not sayin\' I do \'cause
I don\'t - - she\'s a princess, and I\'m
Yeah. An ogre.
Hey, where you goin\'?
To get... move firewood. (sighs)
Donkey looks over at the large pile of firewood there already
Donkey opens the door to the Windmill and walks in. Fiona is
nowhere to be seen.
Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess,
where are you? Princess?
Fiona looks at Donkey from the shadows, but we can\'t see her.
It\'s very spooky in here. I ain\'t playing
Suddenly Fiona falls from the railing. She gets up only she doesn\'t
look like herself. She looks like an ogre and Donkey starts freaking
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
No, it\'s okay. It\'s okay.
What did you do with the princess?
Donkey, I\'m the princess.
It\'s me, in this body.
Oh, my God! You ate the princess. (to
her stomach) Can you hear me?
(still aimed at her stomach) Listen,
keep breathing! I\'ll get you out of
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
This is me.
Donkey looks into her eyes as she pets his muzzle, and he quiets
Princess? What happened to you? You\'re,
uh, uh, uh, different.
I\'m ugly, okay?
Well, yeah! Was it something you ate?
\'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a
bad idea. You are what you eat, I said.
Now - -
No. I - - I\'ve been this way as long
as I can remember.
What do you mean? Look, I ain\'t never
seen you like this before.
It only happens when sun goes down.
\"By night one way, by day another. This
shall be the norm... until you find
true love\'s first kiss... and then take
love\'s true form.\"
Ah, that\'s beautiful. I didn\'t know
you wrote poetry.
It\'s a spell. (sigh) When I was a little
girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every
night I become this. This horrible,
ugly beast! I was placed in a tower
to await the day my true love would
rescue me. That\'s why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun
sets and he sees me like this. (begins
All right, all right. Calm down. Look,
it\'s not that bad. You\'re not that ugly.
Well, I ain\'t gonna lie. You are ugly.
But you only look like this at night.
Shrek\'s ugly 24-7.
But Donkey, I\'m a princess, and this
is not how a princess is meant to look.
Princess, how \'bout if you don\'t marry
I have to. Only my true love\'s kiss
can break the spell.
But, you know, um, you\'re kind of an
orge, and Shrek - - well, you got a
lot in common.
Shrek is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his
(to himself) Princess, I - - Uh, how\'s
it going, first of all? Good? Um, good
for me too. I\'m okay. I saw this flower
and thought of you because it\'s pretty
and - - well, I don\'t really like it,
but I thought you might like it \'cause
you\'re pretty. But I like you anyway.
I\'d - - uh, uh...(sighs) I\'m in trouble.
Okay, here we go.
He walks up to the door and pauses outside when he hears Donkey
and Fiona talking.
(os) I can\'t just marry whoever I want.
Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean,
really, who can ever love a beast so
hideous and ugly? \"Princess\" and \"ugly\"
don\'t go together. That\'s why I can\'t
stay here with Shrek.
Shrek steps back in shock.
(os) My only chance to live happily
ever after is to marry my true love.
Shrek heaves a deep sigh. He throws the flower down and walks
Don\'t you see, Donkey? That\'s just how
it has to be. It\'s the only way to break
You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
No! You can\'t breathe a word. No one
must ever know.
What\'s the point of being able to talk
if you gotta keep secrets?
Promise you won\'t tell. Promise!
All right, all right. I won\'t tell him.
But you should. (goes outside) I just
know before this is over, I\'m gonna
need a whole lot of serious therapy.
Look at my eye twitchin\'.
Fiona comes out the door and watches him walk away. She looks
down and spots the sunflower. She picks it up before going back
inside the windmill.
Donkey is asleep. Shrek is nowhere to be seen. Fiona is still
awake. She is plucking petals from the sunflower.
I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him,
I tell him not. I tell him. (she quickly
runs to the door and goes outside) Shrek!
Shrek, there\'s something I want...(she
looks and sees the rising sun, and as
the sun crests the sky she turns back
into a human.)
Just as she looks back at the sun she sees Shrek stomping towards
Shrek. Are you all right?
Perfect! Never been better.
I - - I don\'t - - There\'s something
I have to tell you.
You don\'t have to tell me anything,
Princess. I heard enough last night.
You heard what I said?
I thought you\'d understand.
Oh, I understand. Like you said, \"Who
could love a hideous, ugly beast?\"
But I thought that wouldn\'t matter to
Yeah? Well, it does. (Fiona looks at
him in shock. He looks past her and
spots a group approaching.) Ah, right
on time. Princess, I\'ve brought you
a little something.
Farquaad has arrived with a group of his men. He looks very regal
sitting up on his horse. You would never guess that he\'s only
like 3 feet tall. Donkey wakes up with a yawn as the soldiers
What\'d I miss? What\'d I miss? (spots
the soldiers) (muffled) Who said that?
Couldn\'t have been the donkey.
As promised. Now hand it over.
Very well, ogre. (holds out a piece
of paper) The deed to your swamp, cleared
out, as agreed. Take it and go before
I change my mind. (Shrek takes the paper)
Forgive me, Princess, for startling
you, but you startled me, for I have
never seen such a radiant beauty before.
I\'m Lord Farquaad.
Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. (Farquaad
snaps his fingers) Forgive me, my lord,
for I was just saying a short... (Watches
as Farquaad is lifted off his horse
and set down in front of her. He comes
to her waist.) farewell.
Oh, that is so sweet. You don\'t have
to waste good manners on the ogre. It\'s
not like it has feelings.
No, you\'re right. It doesn\'t.
Donkey watches this exchange with a curious look on his face.
Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless
Fiona. I ask your hand in marriage.
Will you be the perfect bride for the
Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would
make - -
(interrupting) Excellent! I\'ll start
the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let\'s get
married today before the sun sets.
Oh, anxious, are you? You\'re right.
The sooner, the better. There\'s so much
to do! There\'s the caterer, the cake,
the band, the guest list. Captain, round
up some guests! (a guard puts Fiona
on the back of his horse)
Farquaad\'s whole party begins to head back to DuLoc. Donkey watches
Shrek, what are you doing? You\'re letting
her get away.
Yeah? So what?
Shrek, there\'s something about her you
don\'t know. Look, I talked to her last
night, She\'s - -
I know you talked to her last night.
You\'re great pals, aren\'t ya? Now, if
you two are such good friends, why don\'t
you follow her home?
Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.
I told you, didn\'t I? You\'re not coming
home with me. I live alone! My swamp!
Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody!
Especially useless, pathetic, annoying,
But I thought - -
Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong!
Montage of different scenes. Shrek arriving back home. Fiona
being fitted for the wedding dress. Donkey at a stream running
into the dragon. Shrek cleaning up his