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Almost


Historie fra prøveeksamen i engelsk :)

Karakter: 6 :D .. Plis kommenter! Gode ord og kritikk ^^

Sjanger:FortellingLastet opp:02.08.2009
Språkform:EngelskForfatter:
Tema:Sjekking
Verktøy:Utskrift   Del på Facebook



I knew neither how, not when I got to the position I found myself in now. Why I was there; that was also unclear to me. All I knew was that seconds were ticking away and she had but minutes left. Something had to be done, quickly! I needed to make a decision which could have catastrophic consequences.

 

My hands were sticky and red from the blood. My forehead was sweating like a polar bear in Sahara, and my legs were shaking like jelly. I was fighting my eyes; they did not want to stay up after 35 hours without rest. First the party, then walking around outside with her for hours had made me really tired. I wondered where my shoe was, I must've lost it while running. My heart was beating too fast and heavy. It hurt my chest. My eyes heard every whisper the wind made in the leaves. Every sound I thought of turning around and looking for it. But I couldn't. I kept staring at the trigger, but at the same time my eyes were everywhere. I looked at everything on him; trying to find a solution. And everything around him; hoping for a distraction.

 

Her eyes were closed, her mouth gasping for air. Her chest was rising and lowering. She was trembling. I could see that she was too pale, for every second that went her life poured out from her along with her blood. She needed to get away from there right away, but I did not know how.

 

I could charge him, but he'd put me in the ground before I could do him anything. Or I could try to pick her up and hope for the best, just walk away. Maybe it was an accident; he could've just thought that someone or something was attacking him. I could also try to talk with him, but that could take ages, and I could not spare that time on him. I had to make a decision, quickly.

 

There was a crack behind him that made him jump around and put his aim towards the sound. THERE! It was the distraction I had been waiting for. I had been waiting for but a few seconds, but it felt like hours. I flexed every muscle in my body, my heart beat stopped when I pushed away and started running. Suddenly I was awake, my eyes were wide open. My ears blocked out every sound, and even though I was flexing my muscles so hard it almost hurt, it felt like walking under water. It felt like everything took hours, even though I reached him in a second.

 

He heard me! He was already turned around, but he could not do me anything because his arm was still straight into the air, aiming at the wind that had pushed over a stone. I swung my arm with a force I didn't even know I had. I hit him straight in the jaw. I could feel the crack. I saw his eyes closing right after my fist collided into his face. Everything happened in such a short time, and I knew I would not remember anything of what had happened, but at the present time I noticed every little detail.

 

His hand loosening the grip on the gun, his eyes closing, his head leaning away from my fist when it crashed into his jaw, as if he were about to pass out. His legs went soft and he started falling. His knees met the ground like if he was a feather, and the rest of his body leant forward. His gun hit the ground. His arm looked like it had no muscles left. I saw his body leaning forward, and soon after he crashed into the ground. He stayed there, so I picked up the gun and put it in my belt. For a second I stared at him, but then I heard her moan and I remembered my task.

 

I rushed towards her! My heartbeat had suddenly backed to the fast and heavy beating. And it now felt like I had a sack of stone around each leg. When I saw her face I knew she was struggling. I couldn't figure what the physical pain would be like, but I felt the pain she felt in her head. I picked her up and started running the way I knew led out of the forest. Now the fear was back, and I thought about how much she would leave behind if she died.

 

Suddenly I saw car lights. I was almost out of the forest! And the hospital was not far. She had a grin on her face before. But now she was calmer. She had stopped trembling and her eyes were closed. I could hear her breath slowing down. My heart was beating faster. Don't give up on me, I said to her. I thought I'd start hyperventilating from the fear.

 

I realized how much I wanted her to make this. I couldn't lose her now. I felt my legs moving faster. Then, I was suddenly on the road. I didn't know how I got there, it had happened too fast. I realized this was the highway, and I suddenly had a car almost crashing into me. Now my legs were shaking so much, it felt as if I wouldn't be able to walk. My head was a mess! I had just had a gun at my head, the very same gun that I had in my belt, visible to every damn driver on the road. I had just hit a grown man in the head and knocked him out. My best friend, whom I now felt certain I loved, would maybe die in my arms!

 

A car came right at me! I tried to just, but having her in my arms and my body being a mix of tired and trembling made it quite hard. So the car hit my legs while I was in the air. I felt my body flying around in the air, but I was still holding on to her. I landed on grass. The car must've pushed my off the road. I heard the sounds of car brakes on the road, car doors slamming and people shouting. I could't tell what they were shouting, it was quite blurry since I almost passed out from the crash. I felt two men grabbing my shoulds and arms, pulling me up on my legs. Even though it felt like my arms had no muscles, I kept holding her up. They turned around and looked at me first, probably to see if I was ok. One of them noticed her, and I could see that he knew it was serious. The other guy noticed her just as the first man started pulling me towards the highway. Now everything blurred and I had several blackouts which only lasted for a few seconds.

 

The strange thing was; I was still able to hold her up. I didn't lose her, even though I could barely feel my arms. I saw that we were almost on the road, blackout. I then saw a car door being opened, blackout. I saw that I was being put inside the car, blackout. The next thing I saw was the main entrance to the hospital through the car window, and then I blacked out entirely.

 

I woke in a bed, with a drip and some other medical equipment around me. I knew I couldn't just get up and walk, so I shouted for a nurse. After a few seconds a nurse came in with a doctor and the doctor checked some of the equipment before turning towards me with a smile. "How are you feeling?" he asked me. I felt fine, and besides; all I wanted to know was if SHE was ok. As soon as I mentioned her; his smile faded. "She's till being taken care of. Her damages were severe, but thanks to you; I believe they weren't mortal. There's a big chance of saving her, but she will have to stay here for some time." he said. There was a pause, until he asked if I wanted to get up and see her soon. Shortly after, she was put in a room under observation and I could see her. I sat down next to her and looked at her.

 

All the things that had happened had been decided in seconds. So now I sat there, just watching her for hours. When the morning came, and the clock had passed the hour of five, her parents came rushing into the room. Her mom ran towards her and started crying. Her father on the other hand, came over to me and sat down next to me looking at me, with a look mixing depression and appreciation. "Thank you. If it wasn't for you..." he managed to say before he broke into tears.

 

After her parents were told she had to stay in the hospital they left. I went back to her at the night just to check on her. But when I arrived she was awake. She looked at me when I got in and smiled. I could see that she had been crying, but I smiled back. I sat down next to her, keeping some distance because I had always believed she only saw me as a friend. But she held my hand, stared at me for a long time. I just stared back, enjoying the moment. She broke the silence by saying "thank you". I looked at her and opened my mouth to tell her, but she said it first: "I love you". I looked at her in shock, but I appreciated hearing it and felt like things would only get better after this. I was cheerful. "I love you too" I answered and smiled.

 

Not long before that I made a decision how I was supposed to save her life. I had to decide that fast. But the decision to tell her I loved her, I had been pondering over for a long time. A decision that took but a few seconds changed my life completely. Not for the bettter. For the best.


Kommentarer fra brukere


En gang i blant skrives det kommentarer som mangler seriøsitet eller som ikke har noe med oppgavens tema å gjøre. Hjelp oss å rydde! Klikk 'varsle' nederst til høyre på de meldinger du mener må bort. Så fjerner redaksjonen kommentarene etter hvert.

GHBJKL
17.11.2010 18:50

Bra!
3
anbefalinger
(and she had but minutes left.) oG HUN HADDE MEN MINUTTER IGJEN!!!!! fin setning (-:


19.12.2009 16:52

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
En velfortjent 6er. Engelsken trenger ikke å være feilfri for at man skal kunne få 6, innholdet teller en del det også.

ine
14.03.2010 00:09

Bra!
2
anbefalinger
kan ikke engelsk hva skal jeg gjøre kjønner ikke noe jo Sad :-\((((((

MEE
29.11.2009 17:59

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
Denne stilen din søg, du kan umulig ha fått på han

Eira
11.03.2010 16:40

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
Hæ? Jeg skjønte ingenting av denne stilen! Hvem er personene, altså hovedpersonen, mannen med pistolen og jenta som hovedpersonen elsker? Hvordan kom de opp i denne situasjonen? Hvilken "task" er det som omtales? Tror dette kunne blitt en veldig bra stil om den ikke hadde vært så forvirrende. Du har et godt språk, det høres veldig engelsk, ikke norsk-englesk oppsatt, slik som vi normenn har en tendens til å skrive. Altså oversette norske setninger direkte til engelsk, det har du klart veldig fint å unngå. Jeg ville gitt denne stilen karakter 5- eller 5. Lykke til videre med skrivingen!

Nickname
18.03.2014 14:48

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
Fin tekst, har mye å lære.

jegerenfitte :D
09.12.2014 18:36

Bra!
1
anbefalinger
NEIIIIIIIIIIII\"!

Kommenterer
19.11.2009 19:07

Bra!
0
anbefalinger
Bra stil!  Very Happy :-D Hva fikk du?

Frank
12.03.2010 23:23

Bra!
0
anbefalinger
Eira, hele poenget med historien min er at den skal være litt forvirrende.  Smile :-\) Og det var veldig bevisst at jeg ikke oppgir mere detaljert hvem personene er. Har skrevet mange senere historier, og har ennå ikke oppgitt noe spesifikt på hvem hovedpersonen er, man kan vel si at det er en av kjennetegnene ved mine historier  Wink ;-\)
Mannen har jeg planer om å si hvem er i en senere historie. Og jenta han elsker har han vært venner med i lang tid.
Også bevisst på at jeg ikke går inn i detalj på hvordan de kom i denne situasjonen, og hans "task" er å redde jenta.  Razz :-P Historien får en litt annen vri om du vet at temaet er "En hendelse som skjer over kort tid", læreren sa at jeg fikk temaet til veldig bra og det trakk opp en god del.  Smile :-\)
Takk for alle gode ord!  Smile :-\)

xdf
15.08.2014 13:42

Bra!
0
anbefalinger
sorry but i didn't understand what you mean about this story


21.11.2015 12:48

Bra!
0
anbefalinger
Det var en helt sykt bra tekst! Jeg er ikke så glad i å lese engelsk, men denne teksten gjorde meg så inspirert!


23.08.2016 21:18

Bra!
0
anbefalinger
Jeg kopierte teksten og la til noen få avanserte ord og jeg fikk 5+
Lærer: Teksten var ikke spesefik og kunne vært litt lenger!


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