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Zorg’s report from planet Earth
Jorda får besøk av romvesener.
Hello, I am Zorg, an alien from planet X-5.
When I started my journey to Earth I thought about how it was going to be. What did the creatures look like? Well, you probably wonder why I, an alien, was going to pay a visit to Earth? It all started when my commander called me.
I was drinking slug and had a great time watching all the garbage in my room. You see aliens, from planet X-5, just love garbage and dirt. My commander and I had a little talk about moving to another planet. At last we decided that I, Zorg, should investigate the Earth. My commander said I probably would find a lot of garbage on the planet Earth!
Next morning I started my journey. It should take approximately two days. Halfway I met some other aliens. They were going to Mars and since Mars was on my way to Earth, we went together. We rested a bit on planet Zufh before we carried on. When we reached Mars we split up I went on all by myself.
I spent three exciting days at Earth. Coming home to X-5, the commader almost tore the door to my plane open. “ What happened?” “I landed in something blue and soft and my spaceship sunk. Suddenly something came towards me. It was big and had some kind of motor. On board I saw creatures. They talked in a strange language. I heard they called each other humans. They said something about the fishes in the water.” The commander stared at me. “Keep telling, this is very interesting!” he said with his long snabel. “Okay, I shall tell you what happened next.” The commander looked excited as I carried on. “Well the creatures called each other humans, but I still had a problem. The boat came closer. I dived and picked up my zappergun in case I had to use it. The boat passed just a few inches above my head. I swam like hell.”
“Some hours later I got up from the water and started to investigate. After hours of walking seeing just rocks and dust, I spotted something. I ran towards it and held my zappergun just for safety. It was garbage. A lot of garbage waiting for me.” The commander looked shocked. “What did you do with it? You brought some of it back to us, didn’t you?” He said angry. “Calm down. Of course I brought it with me. That is what we eat. I can’t let you and our families starve!” I said before he told me to keep on telling what heppened.
“I ate some garbage and then walked on. I spotted a car and I stole. I didn’t know where I was or how I could get home.” The commander looked at me with his blue and red eyes. “But you got home. How did you do it?” He asked scared.
“I drove a few miles and I arrived in a city. I saw tall buildings and a lot of green trees. I didn’t recognize everthing, but most of it were familiar. I had to be aware of all the humans that might could see me. Sometimes I hid in garbagecans and sometimes behind corners. I had to find someone who could help me to locate my spaceship.” Commander Squze looked angry and said. “Can you just get to the point. Did you made some sort of deal with the humans or not?” “Yes of course I did!” The commander was happy and said “I knew I could thrust you”
“When I finally found a plance where no one could see me. I pressed speed dial 5 and called the president of the United States of America. We had a long conversation before we came to an agreement. We can pick up as much garbage as they wont from the Earth. It s all for free. Believe it or not – the humans don’t like garbage. Isn’t that fantastic commander?” The commander almost cried of joy and answered “This is the best thing that could happen to us. Now we never have to invade another planet again. Tomorrow we’ll celebrate!”
The next day every creature at X-5 celebrated. They had made a win – win deal with the humans on the Earth.
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