Underneath the snow, everything is hidden. The entire truth is waiting to be revealed. The alarm clock howls in Anthony's ears. Slowly, he opens his tired eyes, looks out the window and studies the sleeping city. Anthony notices the white snow and the fresh air that stings in his nose. All night, it has been snowing. It looks like God has sprinkled sugar over the little town. The city where everyone knows everyone. Almost. Anthony doubts Mr. Monkey, the only memory he has from his father. A sting goes through his heart. Anthony curls up under the night-warm duvet. The heat from his heart has warmed Mr. Monkey, just as his father used to warm him. The homely feeling his father used to give Anthony, is the same feeling Mr. Monkey gives him now. He misses dad.

The stuffed animal warms his cold cheeks. As a bird protects its nest, Anthony protects his lovely Mr. Monkey. Never again will he stand up. Everything is so much more cozy and safer here in bed, with Mr. Monkey in the armpit and the snow descending from the clouds. Anthony gets up from the bed and places his slender feet on the icy floor. He trips on his toes forward to the mirror and puts on the clothes that his mother has chosen the night before. She has not returned home yet. Nina, Anthony's mom is an alcoholic. She has been having a hard time ever since her husband, Anthony’s father died. Therefore, Anthony is mostly responsible for himself. Mornings alone have become a habit. Anthony stares at his red, curly hair, his round glasses, green eyes, and the thousand freckles. Anthony´s freckles looks just like someone has sneezed cocoa powder on his face. He hates it.

“Just like dad used to look...” he thinks, with a little hope that his angel will take good care of him further.

Suddenly, thousands of thoughts float around in his head, evoked from the previous, negative thought. Thoughts about how it has been at school lately, thoughts about what will happen further. Anthony gets a cool freeze all over his body, just thinking about it. The loneliness and longing washes over him, just as the wind blows away a thousand footprints in the powder snow.

Anthony is afraid to forget, afraid that the memories of his father will disappear and be covered over little by little, just as the fresh snow covers the city's secrets outside his little, frozen window.

A guff goes through him. The morning cold fills the emptiness inside the boys' heart on his way out the door. The front door slams shut behind him. 

Now, it is winter. When it is winter, everything is dormant, ready to bloom again when summer comes.

Anthony walks to school, slowly like a snail. His eye notices the garage. His father's gun is still in the garage. Pushing away the thoughts, is a victory for Anthony. He does not accept the thoughts to ravage, he just continues further down the street. Away from the little red house. The house with so many houses around, but which still stands all alone in the chalk-white snow. Anthony notices gray clouds on the horizon, and a bitter wind whistles in his ears. He pulls the slightly too short wool hat down over his ears. The sound of snow sings in his ears, and the dry winter air bites his nose.

Squeak ... squeak ... squeak it says under the shoes for every step he takes. Snow, icy snow shrinks with each squeak. Sweet as honey, the sound of creaking snow lubricates his soul. Is not this an indescribably beautiful sound? Anthony gets an amazing feeling from this sound. He is completely mesmerized by his own steps and the systematic, soothing squeaking under his feet. The sound is like balm for his soul.

Suddenly, he has a throwback from last Christmas eve when the whole family was gathered. The time of his life. Mom, Dad and Anthony. Only them. Perfect. The time where everything was joyful. It is not like that anymore.

Rarely is the way to school as short as it is today.

Anthony does not pay attention in class. His thoughts live in their own world, and everything that happens in the outside world is completely isolated from the thoughts inside him. The heart throbs in his chest when the bell rings. It is lunch break, known as the worst part of the school day. All the students hurry out, everyone except Anthony.

Towards the end, he forces himself out. Forces the legs to walk. He trudges across the snow. Away to a corner of the schoolyard, where he is left all alone in the winter cold. No one to talk to. No one to play with. Not today either.

The gang suddenly spots Anthony, the gang with the black masks. Anthony is terrified. The masks cover their identity, and that is the scariest part. They are apparently afraid to show who they are. The masks hold on the darkest, deepest secrets. An icy hand immediately grabs his heart as the gang marches in his direction. Anthony is completely shaky, and the fear sprints through his whole body. He becomes stiff as a stick. Stiff with fear while he is standing completely paralyzed. Anthony is not able to lift a single finger. The gang says terrible things to him. Things that make Anthony want to disappear from reality. Things that make Anthony want to change his identity. He is not able to utter a single word. He is only thinking about how afraid he is.

Terrified.

He wants to strike, but his hands hang down like heavy lead. He wants to scream, but his mouth does not react. The emotions tear, bubble and boil inside him, but on the outside, Anthony is completely illegible. The gang goes on with the bullying. The snow around them covers the whole world and hides all the ugliness that lies beneath. Anthony feels like snow, cold on the surface, covered. Hiding from reality.

“Underneath my outside face, there’s a face that none can see. A little less smiley, a little less sure, but a whole lot more like me. “ -Shel Silverstein

Suddenly he detaches himself! The wind whips against his face as he begins to run home. He storms through heavy, snowy trees, all the good and known hiding places. If only Anthony could know what's hiding under the masks ... He runs for his life, runs until he feels the taste of blood in his mouth. Anthony gasps for air, with the gang right behind him. He can hear their heavy breaths in his neck. Anthony gets goosebumps.

Unfortunately, the gang is stronger and more muscular. Straight away, the gang throws him down against the rock-hard ice. It hurts so much. The pain is ravaging as never before. Anthony lies down, like a pitiful puppy, while he asks God for mercy. Tears rolls down his cheeks, and the salty taste meets his fissured lip. The glasses are entirely cracked, and they sail across the ice. Anthony coughs up blood. It tastes nauseous.

Red blood hits white snow.

His head throbs in pain and the world outside him spins. Anthony closes his eyes, bites his teeth, and lets the pain slide through him while the gang beats the filth out of him. The blows from the gang are awful, and it is so devastating when it hits his slender body. He stays put. Lying completely on the ground. The blood seeps out of his mouth. He is used to the physical pain. Sometimes, his mom, Nina, is still drunk when she comes home. Around this time, it is best for them both that Anthony is asleep... The worst pains are those inside his heart. It hurts so incredibly in the little, vulnerable boy’s heart.

Immediately, the wind has faded away and the fog has eased. Anthony crawls inside the garage door and pushes himself up against the wall. Something else is difficult, when the gang pushes him further and further inside. His back meets the old, dilapidated wood. The garage door slams shut. It is dark and smells rotten. It stinks as death and life at once. Anthony gets a faint glare of the masks from a crack in the old wood. From the outside, several shots can be heard from the garage. The sounds come from a shotgun.

Red on white.

The reality now appears from a shimmering light from heaven´s skies. Now, there is only an empty shell left, as if Anthony´s soul has been sucked out and on his way to heaven. The power of light carries a small, poor boy's body further up to the sky. Anthony is gone, but his life will continue in heaven with his father. There is no more left of what Anthony used to be. His identity is gone. All of him, everything, who he was and what he stood for.

Gone.

Faded away with the snow.

...the sun shines now, just like before.