I Don't Love You
Dette er en engelsk novelle om en kjærlighet som aldri vil dø mellom to mennesker som ikke kan være sammen. Klisjé? - Les og bedøm. :]
“One day, Christopher Blume, I will love you the way I used to.”, Eliza said, turning her back against him. The sentence made Christopher’s veins freeze. He couldn’t believe that Eliza had said that without even moving a muscle. And after all the time she owed, she’s still the good-for-nothing he doesn’t know.
He tried to remember the good days when they lied next to each other, just looking into each other’s eyes. Hoping, dreaming, that one day they would be together and everything would be the same as it once was. But it was too late, too much trouble had occurred. She didn’t love him like she did yesterday and there was no turning back now. After all the things they’d put each other through, it was time to say good bye.
Finally, the bats would be unleashed from this cave of darkness and wraith. Everything would be fine again, they just had to take the final step and everything would be okay.
“No, Eliza. Please…”, Christopher tried to stop her. He tried to show her just how much she meant, and still means, to him.
“I’m so afraid, Gerard. I’m so afraid of what will come. Of what will happen to us…” Eliza said, holding his cold hand.
“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine, I promise.”
The promising words of Christopher didn’t calm Eliza, but she hid her doubt. There was no way she could reveal her uncertainty, she had to disguise it.
“Can we give ourselves one more chance? Can we give this love one more chance?”
Eliza knew she’d had her heart broken before and she was not ready to go through with it again. Despite this, she could see it all so clearly.
They were two contrasts now, black and white. She, the white and pure. He, the black and filthy.
“Could this be worth it?”, Eliza asked herself.
Because it was different now. Before all of this, she was certain that she could manage it, but something’s changed. When the feelings were put aside, what else was left that was worth? A pile of flesh as a remaining of their love that never dies?
Eliza couldn’t answer to any of these questions, which sat their love on a pedestal.
“Why are you acting like this, Eliza? Why are you so insecure? Because there is nothing holding us back, nothing. Take my hand and never be afraid again.”
The comforting words of Christopher just made things harder for her. He is everything she ever wanted, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Eliza took a good hard look at how the situation once was and how it is now. The difference was large and they both knew it. She just couldn’t find her way home, because it’s in his arms.
“I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Is that too much to ask for?”, Christopher asked, interrupting Eliza’s mentality.
“No, not at all”, Eliza answered melancholy. “It’s just that…”
“What, Eliza? Tell me.”, he said with a gloomy face.
“I don’t love you.”
Christopher had heard this from Eliza before, but it wasn’t until now that he realized the pain behind all of it.
He turns away, slowly to hide his feelings that are now slowly showing. A tear comes running down his cheek and the agony reaches its peak. Eliza stands there like a helpless child ready to weep before she says;
“If I’m so wrong, Christopher, how can you listen all night long?”
“Will it matter?”, he asked, wondering if there really was an answer.
“If you think that I’m wrong, this never meant nothing, to you.”, Eliza answered.
Christopher didn’t know what to say. He thought that she was wrong, because this meant everything to him.
“I love you, Eliza. Why can’t that just be enough?”
“Because you never learned a goddamned thing, Christopher. Why can’t you see that?”
“But I have learned. I’ve learned the meaning of true love.”, he said in a hurtful tone.
“You’re just a sad song, with nothing to say.”, Eliza said, not waiting for an answer.
“I have a lot to say, Eliza. Just give me the chance to speak and you’ll see, trust me.”, Christopher said, taking Eliza in his arms.
“This is not the right time or world for us, Christopher. We’re caught in a different place in life.”, she said dismal.
“But will it matter long after I’m gone?”, Christopher asked, while hearing his heart beating faster.
“The hardest part of this is leaving you.”, Eliza said looking straight into his eyes.
“Honesty was always your best quality”, Christopher mumbled dreary.
“I can see you awake anytime in my head.”, Eliza said pretending he’s already gone.
“I want to see you awake anytime I want to.”, he almost shouted.
The sentence made Eliza shiver. She knew that now, that just wasn’t possible. She felt it in her heart. Though it was aching, she could hear the little voices telling her.
“Eliza… I love you, I really do. As days fade, as nights grow, we will grow old together.
I can feel it, can’t you?”, Christopher said as he was aching.
“I’m numb from all the pain this relationship has caused, Christopher. I just don’t have enough strength to keep it alive.”
“But I have, Eliza. I can be strong enough for the both of us.”, he said desperately.
“Oh, Christopher, my love. You don’t understand.”
“Don’t understand what? You need to tell me, honey.”, Christopher asked in despair.
“I don’t love you like I loved you yesterday”, she answered.
Christopher understood everything so clearly now. It was like a light shining his way. Finally, he understood it all. He held her close as they both shook, for the last time…
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